America's leading INDEPENDENT adult humor network/content provider
Dan Sroka's Humor Network banner

Dan Sroka's Unpublished Proceedings

Worlds Tallest Woman Enters Professional Wrestling

Palo Alto, CA. A mean spirited vicious bulldyke, who just happens to be the tallest woman in the world, has decided to put serious ass whippings on the big boys in professional wrestling. Gibby Gilligan, the 277 pound, 9 foot tall Swedish beast has vowed to “beat the fuck out of every male professional wrestler from here (Palo Alto) to Maine”.

And the monster means business! The 24 year old living female gorilla boasts about how she already has demolished several men. “I’ve crippled and destroyed the world heavyweight champion already,” brags Gilligan, referring to the ass beating she put on former WWO champion Captain LDL, a 349 pound behemoth himself. One report indicates that this vicious bulldyke has actually killed several men.

“I’m going to fuck everyone up! Brock Lesnar- you are next,” cried the 9 foot tall monster, as she put her clenched fist through the plaster wall in the dressing room. “I fear no man: Big Show- I’ll destroy your big wimp ass! Stone Cold- I’ll freeze your balls solid. Hogan- your old ass is cooked if I get a hold on you. Rock- I’m going to pulverize your ass permanently!” threatened Gibby, putting her other fist through the TV set broadcasting Brock Lesnar destroying an opponent. “I want that mother fucker next” cried the monster bulldyke, now covered in her own blood.

Gibby Gilligan is going to fuck you up!

The worlds tallest woman will be managed by fellow bulldyke and man hater Bulldyke Gertrude. Gertrude warned, “I will see to it that my client whips ass no matter where she goes. We hate fucking men- and she’s got the tools to do something about them!”

Is Gibby Gilligan A Man??

Click here for story

Mr. X Regains Control of UP

The exiled former editor of Unpublished Proceedings, a man known only as Mr. X, has pulled a successful coup enabling him to again regain administrative control of the ezine.

“Look at what that mother fucker has done over the last 18 months,” yelled Mr. X (referring to network President and UP interim editor Dan Sroka). “He hasn’t done a damn thing for Unpublished Proceedings... not one fucking volume of the rag has been produced in his tenure here! All he’s done is write 80 bullshit stories for that other damn rag and sit around wasting time watching re-runs of The Simpsons and drinking all day. So I took control and, right away- you get brand new content! And, you know what? I’m not only going to take over Unpublished Proceedings, but I’m planning on taking over his entire humor network,” stated Mr. X.

Homer Simpson

Unpublished Proceedings reporter Alena Ivanovna concurs with Mr. X. “I’ve done nothing over the last 18 months but sit around in one continuous drunken stupor. There has been no work here! All that prick (referring to Sroka) thinks about is The Simpsons, booze and hanky-panky. At least Mr. X will do some work. I’m glad we are back on track and I hope Mr. X does take over the whole network. More power to him,” said Reporter Ivanovna between gulps from her bottle of Thunderbird.

Mr. X warned- “You will be seeing more changes around here soon. Mark my words- I’m taking over!”

More Lies Out of China

Beijing, China. More lies and falsehoods are coming out of China about their (supposed) space program and launching (so called) taikonauts (chink astronauts) into outer space.

Loyal readers of Unpublished Proceedings know first hand this is nothing more than ANOTHER load of fictionalized crap, be it the most recent version thereof.

These same gooks (China Space Agency) previously lied through the teeth of CSA spokesperson Jing Jang Jong about and imaginary rocketship being launched, sending chinks to Mars, discovering life on the red planet and other crap. It has been proven time and time again these gooks are nothing but fabricators and charlatans.

Jing Jang Jong the shithead

NASA spokesperson Richard (Wild Irish) Rose confirmed the opinion of Unpublished Proceedings from Houston, Texas, which was recently (again) named the “fattest city in America”. “We know there are no taikonauts, Shenzhou V rocketship, Project 921 or any of the other bullshit they are hyping! That shit doesn’t exist any more than ‘The Peoples Mobile Hard-dildo Projectile Ramen-noodle Express Flight to Valles Marineris’ did. I’ve told you before.. Jing Jang Jong is a big bull shitter. Trust me, I’m a seasoned vet with NASA in Houston!”

So, Unpublished Proceedings was way ahead of the game from the very beginning. Just leave the chinks to what they do well- spreading spam all over the world and manufacturing dildos. Taikonauts- bull!!

3/08

The Unpublished Proceedings are a division of the Dan Sroka Humor Network. If you would like to be notified whenever new writings are added to any of these sites send a BLANK email message to this address: satire-by-sroka-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

Network Endorsements and Shopping. The Dan Sroka Humor Network is a totally free, non-revenue producing entity. Please patronize and shop with our partners and help keep America's Leading INDEPENDENT Adult Humor Network free
Endorsements/Shopping