"We're the toughest dude's in this place and we challenge anyone here, male or female, to step up to the test" slobbered out the two roughneck boys. "I've whipped ass from Northern Canada to Southern Mexico" stated Baluga H Cornhole. "I've whipped ass from California to Maine" was the response from Buckminster Shitpants. "Collectively, or alone, we can beat your damn asses. You bums don't want no trouble. I can tell you are peace loving good old boys and girls. You have no lofty standards, goals and desires. Each days represents a burden that you must "pass through" just to get to the end. No high expectations, pride in accomplishment, respect for what (little effort) you do put out. A petty meaningless lifestyle is so commonplace and accepted that you have nothing more to look forward to with the dawn of a new day than going to the local watering hole. We're here to change all of that, you pathetic scum. Me and my partner Shitpants here are going to beat the shit out of every single one of you, one by one, including you bitches over there".
Pedro spoke up "take it easy friends. We don't want no trouble." Buckminster grabbed a malt liquor bottle and busted it over Pedro's skull and the poor sad sack slumped to the floor like a bag of vented smoke. "Who's next? How about you fat boy", as he got into Sheister Slob Doughboys face. "Please don't hurt me sir. I've got a wife and kids to support. I'm a righteous, God fearing bean counter" and at that the fat boy passed out in fear.
Rambo Sambo stepped up to plate in his grandiose stupor and was floored immediately. His friend and confidant Heroinballs slipped into unconsciousness upon witnessing Sambos hard fall from his lofty grandstanding.
Baluga and Buckminster headed over to the booth where the wimp brothers sat. "You punks want trouble?". "No sir", Yesman responded meagerly. "Get up out of that booth you fucking ass holes. You're in for a "Texas Treat". The two roughnecks manhandled the patsies back to the rest room. Buckminster dumped a weeks worth in the toilet. The odor was enough to kill several skunks. " Get your head down in that bowl, wimp". Yesman jumped and submerged his head completely in the pot of feces. Baluga pulled him out and tossed the twerp to the floor. "You're next wimp." Wilbur Creampuff stuck his head down in the mixture. Baluga then pulled shit head Casper Milk-toast Yesman up off the floor and forced his head in the toilet along with that of his peer. "Keep your noggins down in that toilet until you hear back from us. This represents a burden that you must pass through."
"Lets get the fuck out of here!" Buckminster told Baluga. "Man do you stink" responded Baluga H Cornhole. Score: Bar Busters 2, Pedro's 0.
