Buckminster Brownpants had to use the bathroom. Already blasted on enough dope, booze and glue to bring down a horse, the big behemoth sauntered back to the bathroom to take a massive dump . His counterpart and co-conspirator in crime, Cornhole pulled up to the bar and ordered a glass of cheap wine. He lit up a pipe and was huffing and puffing something with such a foul odor that even the seasoned smoke stacks present found it unbearable.
"I'm one hard dude" Cornhole yelled out, "and they're ain't a fucking man in here that can whip me". Silence set in immediately. It was as heavy as the smoke that filled the dump. Pedro spoke up "take it easy buddy. We don't want no trouble. We are peace loving good old boys We have no lofty standards, goals and desires. Each days represents a burden that we must "pass through" just to get to the end. No high expectations, pride in accomplishment, respect for what (little effort) we do put out. A petty meaningless lifestyle is so commonplace and accepted that we have nothing more to look forward to with the dawn of a new day than going to the local watering hole."
A bad stench filled the dump. It was not the smoke. Nor whatever Buckminster was huffing and puffing on. It was something else. "I'll kick your wetback ass, you no good anti-union refried beaner". Pedro pulled out a pistol and pointed it right at Cornholes forehead. Suddenly, the whole picture changed. "I'm just a peace loving good old boy", Cornhole told Pedro. "What's that odor?"
Brownpants, having done his dumping, walked out to the bar in a stupor. He yelled out "I can beat the fucking shit out of anyone in this damn dive. As a matter of fact, I just left a bowl full of shit up to the rim back there and I challenge anyone to flush it! Silence set in immediately. It was as heavy as the smoke that filled the dump. Pedro spoke up "take it easy buddy. The toilet don't work".
Everyone headed out the front door, except Sheister Doughboy, who was passed out-bombed. Score: Bar Busters 1, Pedro's 0.
