Blurry-eyed Brownpants saw the sign ahead "Wathen-Gunther-Thornhill Diner. All you can eat- $14.99" and that seemed to fill the bill for the hungry human beast. BigBoy pulled over his 18 wheeler, blocking the entire parking lot for this establishment.
Inside Buckminster was greeted by a 300 pound cashier who took his $14.99. He was escorted to a table by a 400 pound human ground-hog and his waitress, a 500 pound whale named "Big Bertha" took his order. "This must be a good place to eat", he thought.
Big Bertha spit out a big hunk of chewing tobacco as Big Buckminster salivated all over the "All you can eat- $14.99" menu selections. He couldn't decide on starters. 2 dozen eggs and 3 lbs. of fat Carolina bacon? A bucket of tobacco flavored soup? A side of beef with special Monica Sauce?
Buckminster settled for his favorite- pork sausage in German sauerkraut. "That will tide me over!" The 500 pounder brought him a quarter keg of Wathen home brew and Buckminster drank heavily as he waited for his meal. Looking around, he saw many overweight behemoths in the Diner. In fact, at 299 pounds, he was probably the smallest person in the joint.
BigBoy ate and ate and ate and ate and, after 5 party platters of grub he sat back and rested, lighting up a dozen free gratis Carolina golden brown cigarettes. "Ah, what a life!. This is the best of all possible worlds".
Buckminster Brownpants hopped back into Dolly II and drove off, leaving Wathen-Gunther-Thornhill in the dust. he thought to himself as he drove his 18 wheeler of pure Mecklenburg County Carolina golden brown tobacco up US 77.
