Porcupine Pman then saw Ice Princess and they snuck into the back room, not knowing that Pedro had his eye on them both. Pedro headed back to the bathroom. Ice Princess saw Debbie doing Dallas. IP bent over to grab the bottle covered with brown stuff. Porcupine saw IP's body and began dreaming of a steel guitar engagement and dirty filthy basements. Pedro could see what was coming, as he peered out of the bathroom. He wiped up with his bare hand and ran out to get the remote. He switched off Debbie, converted to cable, and activated Raw is War. At that very moment Austin was kicking Vince in the balls and giving Pall Bearer an enema. Pedro thought "no wonder this trash is so successful". Pman and IP could hear all the moaning on the tv and this auditory stimulation enhanced their interactions. Ice Princess whispered in Porcupine's ear...."I'll give you a better workout than Stone Cold would give to Goldberg" and the two melted into one. Pedro was watching through the bar peep-hole into the rear room. Bartender Pedro started dreaming of a steel guitar engagement and headed back into the bathroom.
Baluga H Cornhole and Doughboy managed to come out of their deep introspection. What is going on? Where is Pedro? What's this brown stuff all over the remote? The boys switched From Raw is War to Goo-Goo Eyed Music. Cornhole wanted Apple and Doughboy wanted Natalie. The two slobs were unable to come to a compromise which evolved into a bar room brawl-fist fight that saw the goons beat the living shit out of each other. One by one, the other misfits, mental midgets, human abortions, drunkard alcoholics, overt drug addicts, bigots, street bums, sex fiends, murderers and slobs came out to witness the melee The two human pigs pulverized each other. The spectators, essentially everyone in the bar (with the exception of Pedro, who was still in the bathroom) more or less collectively agreed.....why are we paying to see Goldberg/Austin?....what we have here in our own back yard is real and better than any steel guitar engagement OR best of 3 steel cage matches.
At 2:00 am everyone paraded out of the dump. Sambo was dragging his feet, Hardturd wondered where he could get a drink and a smoke, Heroinballs was sent to the ICU, Creampuff wondered where his galoshes were, shoeless Ice Princess was thinking about 3:16, Pman was thinking about his doink, the human gorilla Shitpants was wondering if toluene can grow hair on my head? Cornhole and Doughboy left together. "What were we fighting about?" "Did you have a dream?" Funny... I hear an angelic choir singing You Can't Always Get What You Want!
Pedro came out of the bathroom and saw the remote laying on the bar. What's that brown stuff? Pedro closed up for the night.
