Bulldyke Gertrude called the quarterly review meeting of the Palo Alto Clandestine Bulldykes Society to order and the big female bulls gave their solidarity howl, the symbolic ritual that signals the start of such gatherings. It was hot in the convention center at Bryant. It was 87 degrees outside and probably about that inside.
The first item Bulldyke Gertrude was to announce, this being a surprise to all members in attendance, is that the administration of the Palo Alto Clandestine Bulldyke Society had decided to have a "bulldyke representative" riding in the Tour de France this year. The head honcho Bulldyke, who's identity is veiled in perpetual secrecy, had recruited a world class cyclist from Belgium and paid him an undisclosed sum of Clandestine Bulldyke Society dues. This unnamed rider has an excellent chance at winning the Tour, so the head honcho Bulldyke believes. Many in the crowd attending protested vocally and challenged this proposal. Bulldyke Gertrude attempted to quell the dissension but this backfired and hundreds of sweating heifers began to howl, moan, groan and create general chaos within the Bryant facility. The temperature went up to 90. Some of the members in attendance began tossing items at Bulldyke Gertrude and she dodged several oranges, avocados and a few rotten peaches as well. Gertrude announced that if this goon wins the Tour all of the Palo Alto Bulldykes would get a free trip to Paris..... and Dublin, and that calmed things down and the sweating decreased somewhat. Still, the nerve of that autocratic/Machiavellian bulldyke!
Gertrude took a long sip of her Palo Alto mountain water and next announced that the Bulldykes are in full support of the boys at the Queerboat Ranch. The Queerboat dudes are protesting the local cyber porno industry moguls, since these outlets are currently only providing free access services to hetero porn and the Queerboats have to pay to access alternative preference materials and this is unfair. Gertrude announced that the administration of the Palo Alto Clandestine Bulldyke Society believes and supports this cause and in fact is joining in a class action lawsuit against the perpetrators of this discrimination along with the Queerboat Ranch gang. The girls all applauded and gave out a collective bull snort. But, when Bulldyke Gertrude further announced that the legal fees for this action were coming out of the dues paid into the Palo Alto Clandestine Bulldyke Society, the bulls became quite agitated and again took aim at Gertrude. Gertrude quelled this activity by informing the members that if they win this class action affair all of the Palo Alto Bulldykes would get a free trip to Amsterdam..... and the docks of Rotterdam. By now it must have been 95.
The next agenda item that Bulldyke Gertrude announced is the Societies condemnation and protest of the Pakistani and Indian governments actions in testing nuclear weapons. The administration of the Palo Alto Clandestine Bulldyke Society is currently negotiating with the local cyber-nerds to cut off all services to Pakistan and India so as to keep these ignorant barbarian war-monger types "in a world of intellectual darkness". Gertrude told the Bulldykes....."we'll cut off their tap like Marlena chopped off John's doink" and this brought a resounding unanimous snort/grunt of approval from all in attendance. By now the convention center floor was covered in bulldyke sweat. When Gertrude told the female bulls that their dues would subsidize this action everyone went nuts, but the big bull learned that idle promises work in this environment and told the slouches if they are successful in this action all of the Palo Alto Bulldykes would get a free trip to London..... and Belfast.
Gertrude had good news for all of the members..... the administration had procured a limited number of free tickets to the June 17 showdown between the reigning PISS champion San Francisco Golden Showers and their arch enemy the Cleveland Bulldykes, and for the Golden Showers June 20 match up with last years eastern champion Indianapolis Pissbuckets (the team changed it's name from Yellowbuckets). Gertrude pontificated that there were a limited number of these tickets and its first serve, and no member could attend each game! The girls howled, moaned, groaned and snorted like there was no tomorrow as they wallowed in their sweat.
It was getting hotter on the stage and the big bull was feeling the heat. She took a long sip of her Palo Alto Super Juice and wiped off her brow as sweat poured down onto her agenda meeting papers. Bulldyke Gertrude was feeling light-headed and wobbly.
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2/08
