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Happy Days

Finally, his ship came in! Drunkard Rambo Sambo and his gang of recluse alcoholic die-hards known as the Texas Boozeboys have scored big, and just in time- right before the holiday. Happy days are here again.

You see, Sambo and the boys had been through plenty of difficult trials and tribulations recently. But, in spite of the adversity, the wretches hung in there, and, low and behold, it all paid off. Here’s how the boozeboys overcame all the odds and will now be in perpetual paradise.

Staying drunk 365 days a year is a formidable task. It will not only take a severe toll on your health and life, but also your wallet too. All of Sambos schemes, as well as his bottles, carboys and vats had dried up. With no booze to suck up, and no money to buy more booze, Sambo and the Texas Fatboys became a very irritable lot. Caper after caper just got the boys locked up in jails and prisons, which only exacerbated their condition. Pink elephants and green snakes were closing in. Was Brock Lesnar real? Is Osama bin Laden Abraham Lincoln’s brother? Did the Mormons build the Tower of Babel? Are you right and me left? The boys were starting to experience a lot of cognitive dissonance and DT’s and that’s when Sambo knew he had to take some constructive action to resolve their dilemma.

Sambo managed to obtain an unsecured $500 loan out of bean-counter Doughboy and with that cash Rambo Sambo went to work. He bought a domain name and porno distribution license, set up a sleazy J Lo blow job site and before you could say “fill her up” the money began rolling in. Sambo was able to pay off Doughboy on short notice and still had plenty of drinking money left. So much so that he and the boys couldn’t drink it all away. Sambo’s porno business was bringing in millions of dollars and that turned into billions on short notice.

alcohol tanker

But- that’s not where the “happy days” fits into the story. You see the money really didn’t make the boys happy. It’s all the booze that makes them happy. So, Sambo and the drunks decided to invest some of the billions in what really counts..... liquids. Sambo procured an 8 trillion gallon oil tanker (he obtained at a rock bottom price of 1 billion dollars). He had the tanker filled with alcohol and it just pulled into the Gulf and docked. So, the Texas Boozeboys are now in the ultimate bliss. There ship has come in, literally. Happy Days are here again.

So, the next time you pay money to jack-off at the J Lo blow job site just remember it’s your cash that’s keeping the boozeboys “tanked up”.

3/08

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