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Dan Sroka November 1990 Calendar

11/1 skim milk an option in vending machines
11/1 dioxin ladened milk products shipped from St. Louis to Pgh.
11/1 Jane punches Lilliput out... goes to the ICU in a coma
11/1 bras on sale at Sears... Matilda stocks up
11/2 Grave diggers check -into- Arts area
11/2 toilet clogged.... hard as cement
11/2 Hot air balloons land on VB... pour milk into chillers
11/2 Phones go haywire.. oxen dups (usual) suspect....
11/2 Lilliput serves Spam sandwiches at Edelweise Botique..al la fat
11/3 DS snoops into unprotected files.. learns little
11/3 Green eggs, sausage and potatoes prepared for luncheon by Lilliput
11/3 sausage and potatoes turn green..ripe for luncheon on 11/5...
11/3 Dups eat crayfish powder... barf floods the sewers
11/4 Tiger Rose salad prepared for luncheon... no vegs. included.!
11/4 earthquake rocks Perth....Foreman and Douglas seen in the locality
11/4 Capuse grant supplied to PLG...$1 million endowment
11/4 Steelers win 2 -0 ...Glandville hits Tiger Rose at Ross Park Mall
11/4 Mario out til 2017-------broken back..fixed with plaster/rice fingers
11/5 Ox dups stock up on milk.. $.03 gallon.. drink til they turn white
11/5 Jane C kicks DS where it hurts... in ICU.. PLG brings yellow water
11/5 102 dead heads idle for 4 weeks.....DS password expires
11/5 BIG LUNCHEON- all zapped by microwave blowup and drain volcano!!
11/5 Tiger Rose party in lounge investigated by campus police
11/5 Fool dups use snake to clear lounge sink...green eggs rebel...
11/6 entire faculty/staff arrested..boozing it up on company time
11/6 Lilliput celled with ox-dups..a major falling out occurs
11/6 Bertha goes crazy..shoots herself 12 times..punches herself out
11/6 crime wave sweeps 467 area..mobsters blamed for it
11/6 yet more F- grades show up.....no end to this trash
11/6 112 deadhead goons found on line by SAA..idle since Jan.
11/7 Big bucks-PLG plays 711 for $200 straight..it hits! PLG retires
11/7 Aja- bra check.. Jessica- bra check (later).. Gertrude hammers Philip
11/7 Cleveland Bulldykes in OT tie with Washington Harlots 2-2
11/7 Earth changes rotation..axis shifts..war declared..yellow tide sweeps
11/7 PLG invites campus police to dinner..TIGER ROSE tortillias served
11/7 moon shifts orbit..yellow tides rise.. Warren Moon goes to Milwaukee
11/7 VB declared a -target- crime area.. plain cloths cops check out 4th fl.
11/8 time flies when you are having fun..faculty enjoy jail life
11/8 -yellow- milk appears in vending machines.. dioxin free!!!!!!
11/8 Radiation leaks detected in CL...Foreman spotted in Roy Rogers there
11/8 Campus Police and PLG strike -secret- deal.. Mayer DeRoy left out in cold
11/8 Foreman scales in at a slim 499 lbs. Prepares for --the big one--
11/8 Oxen dups released from jail...waste of tax payer money to -confine- them
11/8 Lilliput puts out a --contract-- on the stooge-goon-dups.....
11/9 overcrowding at county jail enables release of faculty.. on probation
11/9 Tiger Rose bottles found all over the lounge..campus police failed!
11/9 SAA investigates mortgage options...DS in a trance-gazes at a tree
11/9 Lilliput gets long distance call from Wash. DC.. its the Pres...
11/9 cancer causing NXZT virus detected in yellow skim milk..nation shocked
11/9 crime wave sweeps 4th floor.. more bottles found in ladies room
11/10 Arts maggots look for a new home- travel toward Cleveland
11/10 Toodles sells green meatballs for .05 cent each..yellow sause extra
11/10 Dan D. and Mildred get into a super fiasco.. Mildred hospitalized
11/10 biomed system konks out... oxydups found in electrical room by cops
11/10 Bulldykes smashed by Hobokin Hobknobs 11-0.....put up for sale
11/10 Sherill tells Panthers.. win one for Big Boy Foreman!
11/10 Panthers blasted 104-3....Sherill fired on the spot..Fog Foge rehired
11/11 The stooge-goon-ox dups disappear! FBI brought in to investigate
11/11 Matilda gets mugged by mysertious creature resembeling a crayfish
11/11 Noll says Walton is #1- to get a heafty pay increase of $79,000
11/11 Lilliput and PLG party on Night Train Express ..both found unconscious
11/11 Steelers hire Bud Carson as their water boy.. they get whipped 11-0.
11/12 Darragh street flooded in waves of yellow water and milk
11/12 Cops confiscate 13 cases of Tiger Rose on 4th floor..investigation..
11/12 NXZT virus found in green veal parmejan.. termites found in CL
11/12 middle east war over- Aja the savior........
11/13 FBI says the goon dups are gone without a trace..they talk to Lilliput
11/13 PLG wishes it was 13/13.... 13 Fs now settled in
11/13 KCMO migrates to vega.. degas migrates to Warren Moon..spam and eggs..
11/13 Police raid the lounge... a wine bottle throwing fiasco developes
11/13 powdered milk put in chillers.. hot air balloons take off for CL
11/14 maggots move toward Youngstown..Pat the Brawler wins the title
11/14 unix disintigrates... vms said to be the wave of the future
11/14 Bertha goes crazy..knocks herself out with a lead pipe......
11/14 Surgeon General declares the NXZT virus is healthy..drink yellow water
11/14 Pitunia and Merle go to Edelweise Botique..eat salad of Tiger Rose
11/14 Darragh street clogged by hard cement..sewer pipes excavated
11/14 Lilliput interogated by CIA...suspect in goon dup disappearance
11/15 DS seen with Aja...Matilda mad...kicks DS square in the face!
11/15 Gertrude reports that 2 bodies have been seen in the bottom of the Mon!
11/15 Darryl and John punch out Don Henley and Glenn Fry..Bertha gets into it
11/15 chillers freeze over.. McDonalds milk shakes all over Darragh/Lothrop
11/15 cops catch 13 faculty stoned on Richards Wild Irish Rose..jailed
11/15 PLG makes candied apples with yellow syrup...barf city special
11/15 Josh Perfer rents a submarine..goes down in the Mon.......
11/16 Bertha cultivates warts on her nose with TRS.. a success!
11/16 barium enema prescribed for Foreman.. looses 3 lbs
11/16 mexican jumping beans found in Ajas underwear..look out
11/16 Tilly the Toopster visits Jerry Brown in Sacramento
11/16 Josh says the bodies at the bottom of the Mon. are the ox-dups
11/17 Mick has to spank Wilma with a board.. no more pudding for breakfast
11/17 Lilliput thoroughly demolishes Laser printer--$1,100 down the tubes!
11/17 Campus Police press charges against drunk faculty..all confined again
11/17 SAA smokes tobies... a new hobby.. chewing tobacco at the same time
11/17 LRC closed down to make room for a communal bathroom
11/17 Hackett, acomplishing everything, resigns..to be new Steeler waterboy
11/17 PLG and Lilliput, celebrating news over goon-dups, hit the sauce hard!!
11/17 DS seen with Aja.. Matilda irked... throws in the bra.....
11/17 Josh cuts up remains of water-logged ox like stooge goon dups!
11/18 feeling guilty, PLG goes to morgue to see fool dups.. has sauce
11/18 Steelers kicked about like tumbleweed... 104-0!!!!!!!!!!!
11/18 Josh busy with hacksaw.. surprised at a visitor..has a heart attack..
11/18 Warts grow all over prominent protrusion of a nose of Bertha
11/18 Sagan says that a giant comet is headed for Earth..kiss us goodbye!
11/18 A concoction of yellow syrup, NXZT cream, and TRS used by PLG on dups..
11/18 cut up dup-oxs are gone- no response to the miracle cure
11/18 PLG boils up Tiger Rose soup and spreads it on the shanks of the goons
11/19 Don Henley lambastes Joe Walsh as Warren Zevon digs a hole
11/19 Calcutta flooded with yellow oceans.. 359,900 dround in the disaster
11/19 Lilliput catches PLG working feverishly to resurect the ox dups
11/19 a major brawl developes at the morgue.. bones, meat, plasma everywhere
11/19 PLG subdues Lilliput.. goes into her mystical bag of tricks
11/19 McDonalds chocolate shakes flow down Darragh into Fifth
11/20 PLG gets sewing kit out... working hard on female Frankensteins!
11/20 bottles of muscatel poured down fool dups throats.. they jump up fast
11/20 communal bathroom converted back to LRC.. carpet torn out of 1st floor
11/20 Gertrude envies Berthas warts... she tries to cultivate the same
11/20 Preboskus fever sweeps the city... big noses become the thing!
11/20 DS checks into morgue.. dead! PLG cuts out his brain-installs in ox-dups
11/20 Campus Police search for Lilliput and PLG..both reported missing!
11/20 Faculty let out of jail for holidays..state stores swamped for rot-gut
11/20 Bertha inserts her nose in a strong vacuum to elongate it- it works!
11/20 Kits for nose growing appear on the market.. sold out instantly.
11/20 Ox-dups caught in the mens room.... arrested for trespassing!
11/20 transcript filled with F- grades... QPA .ooooooooooooooooooooooooo1
11/21 Big noses abound.. in everybodys business
11/21 Lilliput prepares for the holiday with boiled gizzards, sauted spam, french milk toast, pituitary peas, brown and green rice with yellow sauce, mutton/goose grease, raw onions, horse lips a la fricassee, Tiger Rose soup, Night Train pudding and egg/cake- campus police invited to dinner
11/21 female Frankensteins move around in a trance/daze..lost in space
11/21 Bertha pops the warts..ant-eater snout gets bigger
11/21 Murnau brothel closed for the holidays..Mick and Wilma kicked out
11/21 Pitunia goes to Edelweise Botique and buys Swami Prohabahanis beads
11/21 Campus Police put surveilance camera in 4th floor lounge
11/21 SAA whimsically switches to a pipe.. no more tobys..Art can have em
11/22 oxy Frankensteins roam the streets/gutters looking for food
11/22 Bertha slaps Aja around as she has no big beak
11/22 Dan D. and Jane C. serve up raw potatoes for the holiday
11/22 entire campus police force in hospital ICUs- stomachs pumped out!
11/22 surveilance camera records -Frankenstein- like people in the lounge
11/22 SAA buys a house for $125,000 and sells it for $399,000
11/22 13 campus police die of food poisioning..Lilliput put in isolation
11/22 earthquake levels St. Louis..yellow waves move down the Mississippi
11/23 stooge Frankensteins found in gutter with Richards Wild Irish Rose
11/23 Foreman flys down to Louisianna.. to meet Buckwheat Zidaco
11/23 oxen half animal/monster types bailed out of jail by PLG
11/23 Pyramid Lake dries up. Sagan reserves comment!
11/23 PLG seen at Hiebers buying medical supplies, insulin, eyedrops, etc.
11/23 a hearst transports two bodies from the north hills to the VB
11/23 lots of activity in the VB for a holiday period.. campus police invest.
11/24 formaldehyde odors permeate the VB 4th floor..scaples, needles everywhere
11/24 Bertha buys plaster of paris for vermiculate snoz!
11/24 Train wreck in San Francisco kills 151...Ray Miland spared
11/24 cynical PLG cuts out female Frankensteins brains and switches them
11/24 Mildred and Olivia joust each other.. both in ICU post fiasco
11/24 Pilgrims on their way to alpha centauri spotted in Avalon
11/24 Foreman becomes a religious zealot (again).. eats enough for a family!
11/24 detectives search 4th floor...find nose transplant parafanalia
11/25 Capuse grant of $1 million recinded... no activity on account
11/25 bizzaro Frankenstein creatures again arrested in mens room
11/25 Biomed blows up.. formaldehyde found in 79 CPUs..sabbotage apparent
11/25 cancer causing NZXT virus said to be in mutton..Lilliput stocks up
11/25 Steelers wrecked 70-0...Art says no more digging ME up.......
11/25 Foreman and Douglas start Holy-Rollers evangelist hour on PBS
11/25 big snout fever sweeps the nation.. WC Fields declared a Saint
11/25 Texas bailed out by G. Bush... Taxes will go up 175% as a result
11/25 Gertrude inserts nose in centrifuge...now bigger than her arm!
11/26 Mystical PLG reaches deep into the bag of tricks..pulls out Felix!
11/26 Oxy Frankenstein dumb-bells thrown back in the Mon. by sewer authority
11/26 Lilliput consumes green meatballs at Georges Haven for Maggots
11/26 typhoon destroys Nigeria..Matilda has bra check (survey)
11/26 yellow tide flows into the Ohio
11/26 Campus Police laid to rest.. Mayer DeRoy vows --we will get these bums--
11/26 Bertha invites Pitunia, Lilliput and Dan D. to a wart-growing fest
11/27 mass killings in Wash. DC, Miami, Springfield and Milwaukee
11/27 Jane C starts up a house for vagrant tramps... DS first to enroll!
11/27 faculty go cold turkey-no more rot-gut! (until next week)
11/27 transcripts hit rock bottom...too many Fs
11/27 Aja travels to the mid-east.... this will take a month!
11/28 Bajou runs out of Dixie beer.. Foreman and Douglas pass out in N.O.
11/28 PLG gives up mobster life for a career as a psychiatrist
11/28 sardonic SAA switches to Skol...influenced by Earl Campbell
11/28 mutton special at Giant Eagle this week..absolute minimum prices!
11/29 Saint WC reconstitutes Jimmy (not the toilet) Durante
11/29 2 water logged bodies found in the Ohio.. Josh called in to identify
11/29 DS extends calendar to 35 days! Perfectionist protest
11/30 Russ consults Dan D. The calendar will expire on 13/13.
11/30 more than 37 slob-tramp types congregate at Jane Cs bum-house for TRS
11/30 formaldehyde mixed into TRS.. PLG spells -relief-
11/30 NZXT discovered in goose eggs.. surgeon general says eat 5 or more daily
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- satire-by-sroka
- Dan Sroka's Berserk Briefs
  
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Dan Sroka November 1990 Calendar

Copyright © Dan Sroka, 11/5/96, 5/08