Questions and Answers
I was snooping around in my computers innards' and next to my collection of
fag porno pictures I saw something marked "Poison-pill electronic mad-cow disease cookie". Needless to say, I did not like the sounds of that and so I dragged this cookie to the trash, emptied the trash, and when I rebooted, several days later, all of my fag
porno pics converted to heterosexual porno. Now that threw me for a loop! How could that happen? So I snooped around amongst these hetero pics (yuk) and I saw another strange cookie reading "implicit retransmission of Idle RQ with ACK upon time-out cookie". What do you think I did with that? I dragged it to the trash and I dumped it. I was really pissed. Who is putting these unwanted bombs in my computer? So I rebooted, thinking further destruction or metamorphosis would occur and guess what happened. All of my hetero porn pictures were gone and my computer filled up with a yellow liquid that had a very foul odor to it. Need I say my computer was wrecked and I now have to spend over $1,000 on a new system! What do you know about this situation? Have your readers experienced anything like this? I am really pissed off. I lost thousands of fag pictures.
Sincerely,
Casper milk-toast Yesman
Dear Casper milk-toast Yesman:
Boy, you are a winner. That will teach you to hang around those sleazy queerboat sites. Anyway, the cookies you talk about are there and there is little you can do about it. It's kind of analogous to walking around outdoors and you look up to the clear blue sky and a vicious rogue magpie at that moment dumps a big load that splatters right in you eye! There is little you can do about it. Just accept it, Yesman. Say "yes" to cookies. The fags were monitoring your activity and the "Idle RQ with ACK" thing was a bomb created by Rodney Pissbucket. I think that's self-evident.
No one else has written about these types of problems and please, Mr. Yesman, don't write to the Magpie anymore.
Mr. Magpie:
I am a very popular girl in my local community. I have lots of male acquaintances and I've been told by scores of guys that I'm pretty, sexy, and I have a great body. I'm 34-24-35 with blond hair and I weigh in at a slim 107 lbs. I'm college educated and I have a good job as a stripper in a local nightclub. This all sounds well, and you think I'd be happy, but I'm not. I'm considering breast implants to augment all that I already have to offer. I consider it a "career enhancement" I know the guys like girls with big knockers and that's all I'm currently lacking. I think once I get the operation my life will be more complete and I will be more fulfilled, so to speak. What do you think?
Ice Princess
East Los Angeles
Dear Little Ice Princess:
I've seen you
many times and you do not need any "enhancement". Just think- if you had implants and some stud is "knocking" you unmercifully and one of those things breaks- well, your gone. Also, if you get that done, your weight will probably go up to 108 lbs. and I don't think you would want that to happen. Additionally, you're a young sexy babe now, but picture yourself 15 or 20 years from now when your a fat ugly old battle-axe with big sacks hanging over your big
beer belly. Believe me, it will happen babe. So, don't do it. Just keep the guys "knocking" naturally and accept yourself as you are. By the way, how about meeting me after the show tonight?
Email magpie
5/08
