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Dan Sroka Presents Digital Diarrhea Volume #26
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Babe Dies After an All Night Encounter with a Big One
Local harlot, sex queen and blow-job specialist Ice Princess took it one too many times last night and, as a result, died quietly this morning with only her platform high heels on. Police arrested drunkard and some-times shack up partner Rambo Sambo who was passed out (bombed) next to the naked sex queen.
Sambo said he was too drunk to remember anything from last night and he denied he’d ever had sex of any sort with Ice Princess, although he admitted he drank a lot with her at least once a week.
Forensic pathologist Dr. Cereal Wreck claimed Ice Princess died as a result of “being fucked more times in one night than is humanly possible. She was filled with cum”, stated Dr. Wreck. He further elaborated “The cum DNA is clearly that of Rambo Sambo, because the sperm were all dead- killed by an alcohol OD.”
Ice Princess, one of the most lovely ladies to ever enter the profession of professional whore, was born in Pittsburgh PA, the daughter of steel worker Alfonso Crowbar and his illegitimate wife #23 Olga Ulyanova. IP sucked a lot of dick in Pittsburgh before she exited for New York City where, as she put it, “the men have bigger cocks and a lot more money.”
In spite of her beauty and lack of talent she never achieved anything in NYC. She became addicted to cigarettes and booze, to join her addiction to dick, and quickly returned to Pennsylvania where she spent most of her time drinking at the local bar and wearing out her loins.
Alleged lover and fellow drunkard Rambo Sambo claimed he was absolutely innocent from his jail cell. “I never heard of her! I’m a fag. What would I be doing with a beautiful sexpot blonde? Hey- got any booze on you?”
One man who freely admits having a long term affair with IP, Pman, stated “I’ll miss fucking the shit out of her. I’ll bet I fucked her at least 2,500 times in the last 5 years. And probably a million blowjobs. You don’t get that from your average girl”, cried Pman, as big tears fell on IP’s obituary page and smeared the ink. “Fuck- now I don’t have anything but the memories.”.
IP was chopped up and flavored with turkey broth and fed to the local boozehounds and drug addicts at the local AA center. The boozeboys and dopers all collectively agreed it was the best turkey meal they’d ever had- bar none.
Copyright © Dan Sroka, 11/23/01, 
3/08
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