Dan Sroka's Digital Diarrhea Volume #21

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Dan Sroka Presents Digital Diarrhea Volume #21

Human Beast Can’t Stop Shitting

Just another unbelievable story Digital Diarrhea has dug up for you. One that is really stranger than any of the other many, many odd news stories you’ve read in this electronic rag. And, even if you know what Digital Diarrhea is about, you probably won’t believe this one.

Don’t let the name Chieftain Hakio Hardturd fool you. This guy is for real. He’s one of the Texas fatboys. He’s also one of these self proclaimed rough dudes that has a high opinion of himself. He is a union boy and he’s quite stupid. Hardturd likes to eat a lot and he’s been boozin with the best of them for decades. And, we’ll tell you one other little tidbit. Hardturd has had gastrointestinal problems before. He really doesn’t learn very quickly, as you could probably guess.

Anyway, the fat fucking imbecile was sucking up pounds of genetically altered corn tacos, beef burritos, pounds of fatty wieners, loads of greasy fried chickens, pizzas by the bushel, and drinking like a fish the other day and it brought about a problem for the human garbage dump. He got backed up and could not shit. So, without going into all of the ugly details, after days of stagnation, the monster decided to take strong action to remedy the condition.

Hakio Hardturd, stubborn and weak-minded, drank quarts and quarts of sauerkraut juice mixed with a quart of vodka and guess what? Now the beast can’t stop shitting! His entire house is now filled with shit and this e. coli factory has had to toss his waste outside his sweltering Texas dump. Imagine, 100 degrees every day, shit all over internally and externally. What filth! What nerve! What stupidity!

Mounds of shit outside of Hardturd's dump

We did not dare send a reporter out. We took the photo with a telephoto lens from a healthy distance from Hardturds Dallas shack.

The cops are on the case. This monster is going to jail- this time for a long time. His union buddies can’t save his putrid ass this time.

Off with the bastard! Lock him up like the animal he is. Do you get the feeling we hate this mother? We’ll you are right. Let him rot like the shit he is. What a waste.

9/08

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