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Korean Dick Machine A Big Seller
Seoul, South Korea (DDNS) Inventor and pervert Kim Mo Bong is out with his newest contraption- a dick machine. You may have heard of Kim before, as he is fairly famous and known across the globe for his other invention- the sex machine.
The egocentric but creative odd-ball has had a lot of success in the orient with his so called “dick machine”. Thousands of sexually deprived Korean males have bought this new device and are reporting that they are happier than they have ever been.
Bongs dick machine, like his other famous invention, works on simple basic principles. “It’s the old Skinnerian stimulus-response”, slobbered out Bong in his broken/chopped up English, as he displayed his dick machine to our Digital Diarrhea star reporter Helena Frenulum Hymen at the Seoul South Side Slum Complex and Trade Show for Sexual Perverts. The dick machine is nothing more than a big soup pot with a handle and an aperture that spins. A man inserts his dick in the aperture, after your soup or kim chee is good and hot and your friend cranks the handle. This forces the hot soup to rub against the inserted organ giving the lucky user a sensation as good as the real thing. Reporter Hymen assisted Bong in the demonstration. Bong pulled out his wiener and forced it into the tube and Hymen cranked the dick machine handle. After a few minutes of this activity Kim Mo Bong went nuts and shot his wad right in the aperture tube. He then collapsed in a nearby chair in exhaustion.
Digital Diarrhea Reporter Hymen asked Bong, after he recuperated, “why would someone want to use this machine- when it takes two people to operate it, and those two people could be having natural sex together, rather than fucking around with this contraption”. Bong got very agitated, using a lot of Korean foul language and nasty gestures. He basically told our reporter that she was a woman and did not understand Korean lifestyles and preferences.
After the demonstration, Bong invited all in attendance at the Seoul South Side Slum Complex and Trade Show for Sexual Perverts to a meal of kim chee soup that was cooking in his dick machine. Hymen declined the offer, but many in the crowd indicated how flavorful this soup was. Not a drop of the soup went to waste, and Kim Mo Bong was encouraged to make more soup in his dick machine.
Now, Digital Diarrhea realizes that most of our readers are not Korean. But, we also realize there might be a demand for this unit outside of the Korean community. So Bong has been gracious to permit Digital Diarrhea the luxury of selling the dick machine at a substantial savings through a special offer!
Kim Mo Bong will permit you to buy his dick machine for only $99 US if you sign up first as a new subscriber of the Digital Diarrhea Fan Club. Any new subscriber will get the dick machine at this reduced/discount rate and get free delivery as well. Just sign up as a new subscriber, then send an email message to killerdildo@safe-mail.net indicating you want the dick machine for only $99. Send your electronic transfer to the same email address, and, within 6 weeks, you will be cooking your own kim chee dick flavored soup and enjoying all the other pleasures the dick machine has to offer. Act now, for this is a limited time offer.
Editors Note: Digital Diarrhea, DDNS, nor any of the components of the Dan Sroka Humor Network supports or endorses this product or its use. The publication of this news story is as a public service only and should not be interpreted as an endorsement of this product. Furthermore, the reader should be fully aware that Kim Mo Bong is awaiting trial by jury in an alleged murder case. A word to the wise is sufficient. We do, however, encourage you to sign up as a member of the Digital Diarrhea fan club. It’s free and easy- just fill in your email address in the banner below, send, and you are done. It’s the best way to keep up with all the shenanigans that are always going on at the Digital Diarrhea News Service
Copyright © Dan Sroka, 9/2/00, 
2/08
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