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Dan Sroka Presents Digital Diarrhea Volume #16
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Mean Spirited Tyrant Vows to Fuck You Up!
Quebec, Quebec (DDNS) Spurned and frustrated at his ill-fated attempt to be nominated as a candidate for the US Presidency , Baluga H. Cornhole is now a very angry man. In fact, the vicious machiavellian tyrant has made it known that he has every intention of inflicting revenge for his predicament on YOU personally.
“I will fuck you up royally!” were the words Cornhole forced down our DDNS reporters throat before he pulled out a butcher’s meat cleaver and began waving wildly. The always-angry and mean spirited bully was more agitated than we have ever seen him, after he got word that his efforts to become President were thwarted. The populace of his gay boy province added insult to injury when they voted the big fucking baluga-nerd out of office in the most lopsided election in Canadian history. These two events turned the loony human-gorilla into a full blown raving maniac and the beast went on a rampage that has never been seen before in the quiet capital city.
Cornhole vowed to “cut the dick off of every bastard” he runs into and to “give serious poundings to you sluts” as well. “I’ll teach you mother fuckers to try and stymie my dominance,” blurted out the roughneck, just before pulling out a pistol and emptying it into the adjacent walls.
“I’ll fuck up every Canadian and every American that comes across my path,” slurred out Baluga, as foam and yellow phlegm poured out the corners of his mouth. “You fucking shithead rebellious punks, you damn old fogies, you fucking sleazy sluts- YOU are the cause of all this! I’m gonna break your backs- each and every one of you.”
The ugly old geezer started shaking violently and apparently went into an epileptic seizure/cognitive quagmire. He passed out and took a hard fall, face first, to the floor, where he twitched and shook as if he was getting 10,000 volt shocks straight up his ass.
At that point, our reporter Helena Frenulum Hymen put hand cuffs on the berserk fuckoff and called in the white coats from the Quebec Province Mental Hospital and Veterinary Clinic. Baluga H Cornhole was escorted out of his quarters and dumped into the padded transport vehicle. The tyrant was swiftly transferred to the mental hospital and Hymen has learned he will be put to rest tonight via lethal injection.
The white coats told Hymen his last words (before his eyeballs rolled back in his head) were, “I’ll teach you fuckers to fuck with Baluga H Cornhole!”
Copyright © Dan Sroka, 4/8/00, 
2/08
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