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Dan Sroka December 1996 Calendar
- 12/1 Drug King Heroinballs injects 2 oz. of morphine in his rightjugular vein + 3 oz. of heroin in his left jugular vein for a super instant wreckage
- 12/1 Stiff-necked MachoMoneybags Sambo visits his psychiatrist-the
shrink tells him the bad news-he suffers from chrometophobia
- 12/1 Get a job!----sewage trainee (800-242-3736)----laborer
(800-913-9670)........Shack for sale (800-669-9777)
- 12/1 Jacksonville 40-Cincinnati 11, San Jose 3- St. Louis 2, New
England 71-San Diego 62, Anaheim 9-Edmonton 0, Phila 33-NYG 0
- 12/1 Porcupine Pman goes fishing for carp. Killer Moneyman Sambo goes
hunting for bucks. Heroinballs goes hunting for a brain
- 12/1 Soviet doctors report Yeltsin doing fine post surgery. Barking
has been controlled to nightime episodes only. Zevon on the case
- 12/1 FC Groningen 7- SC Heerenveen 2, Pittsburgh 15-Baltimore 11,
Bayern Munich 5- Karlsruhe 4, Carolina 40- Tampa Bay 2
- 12/1 returning from his fishing expedition Dave Pman drives his
mercedes off the Homestead High Level Bridge and straight into the Mon.
- 12/2 after a 2 hour boric acid anal enema sludge mogel Buckminster Brownpants works out his colon with a 13 in. electric dildo
- 12/2 Buckminster Brownpants calls off work with diarrhea. Sambo picks
up the slack and pulls wires in the mental ward
- 12/2 cyber-queen Lilliput is stunned - flabbergasted to find:
http://www.dux.ru/koi7/enpp/newspapers/echo/indexes/echo-178-index.html
- 12/2 still on his quest for the answer- Hardturd calls -800-345-6998 +
800-722-6162 + 800-847-5822 + 800-284-7929 + 800-433-7284
- 12/2 martyr Doughboy cries for himself, his lot in life and his
midfortunes. 300 lb wigwoman slaps the big stupid moron simple w/ a
rolling pin
- 12/2 Doughboy- kicked out of his dump- smokes 25 Kents. Smokin Joe
Pman smells the odor and joins him for a 3 packer-fest
- 12/2 Gail and SAA set up a small business at St. Philomenas.
BigPictureRamboMoneyman considers changing careers to an - undertaker-
- 12/2 Newt tells Clinton he will give him 400 Arch Delux burgers if
Clinton will order Paul Drake to keep 24 hour surveilance on Barry
- 12/2 Pman has the river patrol dredge the Mon. in search of his
mercedes. Results- a $36,000 bill with no car. Pman eats carp
- 12/3 Shinichiro Kaneko informs SJMF slob Doughboy that he is his idol. Kaneko takes 50 lashes with a horse whip in public for his actions
- 12/3 Heroinballs scores big from Barry....mescaline, homicide, wet
dank and crack--all in one unmarked crate shipped USPS
- 12/3 after breathing a shopping bag full of glue Mr. Stooge Lumox
Beluga contemplates that- 13 spades odds are 635,013559 to 1
- 12/3 crazed stiff-neck bezerko Sambo flips out. Foaming at the mouth, with chainsaw in hand, Sambokillerman holds entire department hostage
- 12/3 state police, city police and psycho-ward white coats surround
department. Mr. Money, sweating like a bull- threatens to kill everyone
- 12/3 cyber-princess PLG searches for bliss and finds it
at...............http://infoshare1.princeton.edu/katmandu/sgman/ruslitra.html
- 12/3 Get trained--no experience
necessary--800-444-9983................become a cleaning person by calling
800-896-6066
- 12/3 SJMF sheisters buy a shack/dump by calling 800-927-9275. Mike
Rozier says **aint no one wants to live in no shack man!**
- 12/4 20 hours after chainsaw seige begins berzerko Sambo is still
going strong- cops give him a quart of gin and a gallon of gasoline
- 12/4 Gastrointestinal Nightmare, hostage for 20 hours and unable to
take a crap, cant hold it any longer and blasts a 20 megaton eruption
- 12/4 entire department wrecked by blast- cops quickly seize the
opportunity (with gas masks on) and apprehend killer berzerko Sambo
- 12/4 Police rough-up flipped out psychotic sweating nerd and transport
him to the mental ward of the county jail- locked up with no bail
- 12/4 In an exclusive NY Times interview OJ says he cut off Goldmans
head in self defense-Ron threatened me as I cut off Nicoles head!
- 12/4 State Police give human gorilla Hbomb a civilian citation award
for assisting in the apprehension of chainsaw-killer Rambo BigPicture
- 12/4 Ottawa 2-Pittsburgh 0, Montpellier 4-RC Lens 2, Richmond
88-Colorado 76, Colorado 2-Edmonton 2, Vancouver 9-Buffalo 0
- 12/4 Federal Brotherhood of Stooge-Lumox Belugas honors their hero
Buckminster with the prestiged BIG BELUGA medal of honor
- 12/5 At the dog races gambler PLG puts $75 Keota Estee and $60 on Pat
C Invalid. PLG upset as BJ Brine Arsm whips em all
- 12/5 Mr. Heroinballs reviews and scrutinizes----------
http://www.netural.com/lip/file_a04.html
- 12/5 Ottawa Corel Centre burns to the ground. Fatboy Lardbucket
Doughboy takes another assbeating from his slob wife
- 12/5 In an exclusive NY Times interview Vojtas admits he killed
Gammage. Albert said he got an assist-killing
- 12/5 Order some blue crocks and jugs---330-426-9871.....How about some
USED telephone poles?----412-487-2200
- 12/5 Prison inmates initiate Killer Chainsawman Stiffneck RamboSambo-
tie up murderer with duct tape and floss
- 12/5 Pman invites King Farouk, DS, Hardturd and SJMFs over for a
pre-holiday celebration and ride in his submerged mercedes
- 12/6 Police river patrol arrest 6 tanked up nerds attempting to go into the Mon river near Homestead. Goons escorted to jail
- 12/6 A big fiasco develops at county lockup as Farouk and jail-bird
mambojambo Sambo fight over login privlidges
- 12/6 Coslet lectures the Bengals---we can win the Superbowl this
year!---Wessel and DePaul get into a big fight on the 45 yard line
- 12/6 In solitary confinement in the lockup- killer Sambo reads The
Prince (his bible). Gets the adrenelin flowing and challenges 5 inmates
- 12/6 Black Friday bombs Wall Street as the market crashes- drops 5,200 points. Greenspan drops a load right in his pants
- 12/6 Clinton calls Jacques Chirac and asks him for 50 billion francs.
Chirac tells Clinton he will send over 200 bottles of wine instead
- 12/6 Slobbish Doughboy goes into rehab. Heroinballs to be his clinical-mentor. Sambo plays pocket 18 hole par 70
- 12/6 Goons let out of jail on their own recognisance. Pman heads for
the SS. Hardturd heads for Chiefs. DS heads for chinese.
- 12/7 BFS Buckminster Brownbag Brownpants gives himself a solid 2 hour dildo workout but he gets the vibrator jammed in his butt
- 12/7 Lumox Beluga Brownpants rushed to the ER with 18 inches imbedded in his
rear. Interns take xrays of Mr. Plug and operate on the fool
- 12/7 View the Xray of stooge Belugas 18 incher at-----
http://www.well.com/user/cynsa/graphics/VIBRATOR.JPG
- 12/7 Heroinballs tells his shrink he suffers from persistent anxiety
and Dr. Schizobergerwicz prescribes Buspar 15 in heavy doses
- 12/7 Lasorda has a massive heart attack but doctors say the prognosis
looks good. Shaq visits Lasorda in the ICU
- 12/7 Chieftain Hakio, drunker than a 50 year old bottle of burgundy, is thrown out of Chiefs after spending $275 on booze alone
- 12/7 Mr. Drugking Heroinballs tells his physician he suffers from
delirium tremens, delusions and has manic depressive spells
- 12/7 Doctor J.J. Undercyclothyme informs HB that he must have 2 weeks off work to recouperate from all the stress he is emulating
- 12/8 Sambo hires Johnny Cochran as his defense lawyer-Sambo
immediately released from jail and makes a b-line to Chiefs Cafe
- 12/8 Cops rush to Chiefs on a report that someone broke into the bar.
No one found but 4 cases of hard liquor reported missing
- 12/8 Manchester United 2- West Ham United 2, Bengals 99-Ravens 0, San Diego 15-Pittsburgh 14, Florida 9-Dallas 1
- 12/8 Become a dentist- 800-999-9551 x22-934...become a janitor-
800-896-7878... become a warehouse worker- 800-535-5978
- 12/8 Hardturd announces Heroinballs will be off work 2 weeks for
mental and physical R+R. Souped-up Sambo challenges Hakio
- 12/8 DS tells SAA- live for each second, without hesitation, and never
forget Im your man-. SAA reads ( Men are from Mars )
- 12/8 Mr. Human-Gorilla Walleye discharged from ER post bowel surgery.
He heads straight for the dildo closet again
- 12/8 Detroit whips Minnesota, Chicago demolishes St. Louis, Edmonton
bombs Blues, Ajax crushes FC Volendam, Miami pounds NYG
- 12/9 Monday night RAW action has the debut of King Baluga, a 499 lb.
behemoth from northern PA. Baluga gets pinned in 15 seconds
- 12/9 On the job Smokin Joe and rubberneck Sambo get into a fist fight over who is to speak first at a meeting
- 12/9 Grommie and Penguin visit Wallace for a sip of Night Train
Express. PLG calls the Wheeling Slots Hot-line at 800-445-9475
- 12/9 Schottenheimer resigns as coach of the Chiefs to become GM of the ABL Portland Powers
- 12/9 NASA reports that the Hubble Deep Field system has discovered 8
headed deer-aliens on a planet 999 octillion light years away
- 12/9 Machoman Moneybags BigPicture calls Debtors Anonymous at
310-855-8752. Cochran tells Moneybags to be in court tomorrow
- 12/9 Buy a dump at 800-927-9275. Buy a juke box at 800-464-5198. Have a wedding at Sea by calling 714-723-1069
- 12/9 Heroinballs, resting peacefully in Key Largo, smokes a foot long
wet dank blunt laced with crack and morphine
- 12/10 Kak Paskahousu Bombadeer lets out a silent cloud that results in
47 people being rushed to the emergency room- unconscious
- 12/10 Styvestant E. Blosthiggins III and his nephew Heroinballs lay on
the beach enjoying the high life
- 12/10 Jabbering away a mile a minute- Pman listens to a psychiatrist
in the mental ward who tells him he is lyssophobic. Pman stunned!
- 12/10 200 jugs of French wine arrive at the White House (special USPS
delivery). 179 bottles broken
- 12/10 Earn $35,000 driving a truck [800-682-3719].....recruiting all
inexperienced drivers [800-872-8782]
- 12/10 big time gambler Lilliput puts down $1210 on 1210 straight for
today. Bookies in NY, Maryland, Michigan and Wisconsin happy
- 12/10 music lover stooge Hbomb illegally downloads tunes
from======file:///SAA%252FDS%20HD/Desktop%20Folder/Tunisia.aiff
- 12/10 former spaceman Konstantin Fedktistouv informs the Secret
Service that there are 2 headed deer from Saturn on the moon
- 12/11 Cochran convinces jury that killer ChainsawSambo is innocent-his
insanity was induced by job stress- awarded $6 million
- 12/11 Pilgrims send message to Arecibo Radio telescope- alien Balugas
with 2 heads seen on their way to Earth
- 12/11 In a south side bar, Smokin Joe practices his spanish to the
barflys- pinche me cago tu madre. Pman koed and floored
- 12/11 On his lunch break, nervous Hakio
calls:800-527-8118--800-543-3829---800-645-7602---800-348-4343 +
800-886-5675
- 12/11 NYR 1-NYI 0, Le Havre 4-Nice 0, Hartford 7-Florida 2, Columbus
124-San Jose 59, St. Louis 12-Dallas 0
- 12/11 Human-pig Doughboy kicked out of rehab when he is caught drinking Mogen David in his cell
- 12/11 Johnny informs killer machoman moneybags Sambo in writing that
he owes him $8 million for his services
- 12/12 gambling addict Lilliput puts $2,000 on 1212 straight and $1,000
on it boxed. Hardturd and Stiffneck spend the night at Chiefs
- 12/12 slob Doughboy slinks back to his dump. Finds his ugly monster
wife in bed with a corpse. Wighead beats the dough out of Mr. Slob
- 12/12 Fidelity Biotech fund drops $21 million in a second. Wall Street
recovers as cyber-porn stocks skyrocket- up 99.5
- 12/12 Dole calls Clinton and begs him for a white house job. Clinton
replies offering him a position as ambassador to the Ivory Coast
- 12/12 Chicago Tribune reports exclusively that Nicole threatened to
cut OJs head off and that Ron had a machette in his car
- 12/12 dreamin PLG has this one: Live on Soul Train- she sings Story of
Love with Otis Redding. The Pope is in the audience with Idi Amin
- 12/12 Sambo buys a cemetery lot at 412-926-9343......only then does he realize he has taphophobia
- 12/13 On vacation at the Bonneville Salt Flats Blosthiggins III and
his nephew Heroinballs smoke a bushel of mary jane
- 12/13 Pman picks up a $200 special on the SS and brings her back to
his abode. Kicks his niece out so that he can get his $200s worth
- 12/13 Nerd Baluga Beluga tunes in his favorite web site---------
http://www.wanet.net/~piburns/dates.html
- 12/13 Farouk explains to Hardturd that unix bash wont support FTP.
Hardturd believes kernels are corn for the pigeons Sambo feeds
- 12/13 Walleye the Stinkman kills two 3 headed deer with his odors.
Crawford County sheriff arests Stinkman for damaging county property
- 12/13 FBI reports that a missle fired from Mars moon Deimos brought
down flight 800. NASA to send a special expedition to Deimos
- 12/13 Modell tells Capers --Im going to humiliate you on sunday--.
Capers calls Cowher who calls Ross who calls Dungy who calls Jones, etc.
- 12/13 Drake learns that Barry is on a flight west. Catches a cargo
flight to Salt Lake City in pursuit
- 12/14 Barry joins his drug colleagues at Bonneville. Paul Drake
videotapes their actions. Drake relays info to Newt
- 12/14 Wigwoman boils up pork kielbassa and sauted turnips and eats it
all as her obedient serving husband Doughboy watches and chants
- 12/14 Eagles massacre the Jets 79-0, New Castle United 2-Coventry City 1, Wimbelton 8-Blackburn R 3, Chicago 16-San Diego 11
- 12/14 Gerhard Domagk reports that signals have been received from
Epsilon Eridani indicating a space-time warp
- 12/14 Chieftain Hardturd consults with Abdul-Alibaba Nanak Varhamana. Afterwards, Hardturd consumes a half-keg of Strohs
- 12/14 Barry Horowicz wins the WWF title pinning King Baluga in 12
seconds at Madison Sq. Garden before 18,704 maniacs
- 12/14 dreamin PLG has this one: Live on Shindig -she harmonizes with
Wilson Pickett on Mustang Sally and Hey Joe
- 12/14 Wallace, Penguin and Grommie like what they see at --------
http://info.utas.edu.au/docs/flonta/DP,1,1,95/bibc94.html
- 12/15 Chicago 2-Pittsburgh 0, Houston 9-Cin. 3, San Fran 77-Pittsburgh
40, Sunderland 5-Chelsea 4, Detroit 3-Toronto 3
- 12/15 SAA orders GTF chromuim, linseed flax oil, coenzyme Q-10 and San Palmetto complex at 800-645-1030
- 12/15 In a special FBI sting-drug bust Heroinballs/Barry and
Blosthiggins III are apprehended and jailed for drug possession and
distribution
- 12/15 Sheister Doughboy threatens to divorce his gruesome wig-headed female-bull wife. Big bull beats the crap out of him
- 12/15 Carolina 60-Baltimore 0, Vancouver 7-St. Louis 6, NYG 2-NO 0,
Dallas 20-NE 19, Ottawa 5-Dallas 2, VfB Stuttgart 4-SV Hamburg 3
- 12/15 Reserve your own gravesite...call 904-736-2077---for a mass
murder (4 grave sites) call------412-795-7946
- 12/15 ballless Doughboy sneaks out to a pay phone and calls
800-486-4070 for info on a cheap divorce
- 12/16 uneducated nerd BigPicture tells Hakio he wants to be an
administrator. Hardturd tells stooge Sambo he must get his GED diploma
- 12/17 Gruesome Wigwoman catches her husband in Burger King eating 13 99 cent Whoppers....pounds the hell out of him
- 12/17 Burger King manager cusses out female bull and her slob husband
and throws them both out of the restraunt
- 12/17 Pman and lumox Baluga Beluga eat lunch at Burger King....15
Whoppers each. Pman weighs in at 249 lbs-Baluga at 337 lbs
- 12/17 uneducated Moneybags and galoot DS go to Burger King for lunch-
bigboy eats 10 Whoppers w/ garlic + Moneyman has 7 with anchovies
- 12/17 enroll now---800-423-9688......Get cash in a LUMP
sum----800-499-7240.....get your fat cut off with a laser----800-429-1151
- 12/17 after a 1 1/2 hour clorox anal enema sludge mogel Buckminster
Brownpants works out his colon with a 15S electric vibrator
- 12/17 Yeltsin sends Clinton email telling him he wants to meet in Kent
for a special WW3 summit before Dec. 31
- 12/18 Hakio bails Heroinballs out of jail....offers him another 2
weeks off work with double pay and all the drugs he can consume
- 12/18 Sambo has a nervous breakdown on the job...goes crazy and holds
Hakio hostage with a machette he borrowed from OJ
- 12/18 Smokin Joe, lumox Buckminster and King Farouk meddle in Hardturds business and are taken hostage by psychotic Dollarman
- 12/18 After a bubble bath and a cup of tea- Lilliput
enjoys:::http://dunster-lab1.student.harvard.edu/~groppi/karl/hmnewman/quiz.html
- 12/18 After 30 hits of coke and 14 joints HB enjoys--------
http://www.little-elegance.com/lilliput/844.htm
- 12/18 Lasorda has another massive heart attack but doctors say the
prognosis looks good. Magic visits him in the ICU
- 12/18 United Brotherhood of Unionized Wirepullers announces it will
fight the Federal Brotherhood of Stooge-Lumox Belugas
- 12/18 After 4 hours- hostage standoff ends as Sambo + Hardturd both
pass out in drunken stupors
- 12/19 Heroinballs consults his doctor. Dr. J.J. Undercyclothyme tells
him he has ulitis and rhinitis. HB is stunned and upset
- 12/19 OJ sends BigPicture email and tells him (in no uncertain terms)
he wants that machette back and now!
- 12/19 HB gets a second opinion and is told he has
silicosis...physician prescribes heavy drug abuse to cure this problem
- 12/19 At a south side brothel Pman is rolled and mugged by a big ugly
female bull with a black wig. Pman said he enjoyed it all
- 12/19 A major blizzard blasts the midwest. Chicago has 40 inches of
snow. Milwaukee frozen solid.
- 12/19 At the dog races gambler PLG puts $75 Hobos Express and $60 on
Deerfield Pat. Psychotic Affair blows them all out
- 12/19 Bombadeer Paskahousu sniffs 5 tubes of glue in a big brown bag-
in a mental quagmire he drops a bucket full in his pants
- 12/20 Riots rock the LA County jails. NASA reports that the Mars
explorer has been located in the bowels of a big beluga in the Pacific
- 12/20 Hartford 11-Dallas 10, Edmonton 3-NJ 0, New England 113-Seattle
102, Cannes 2-Bastia 2, VfL Bochum 9-Hansa Rostock 7
- 12/20 Pman invites Doughboy, IP, Hardturd and HB over for a
pre-holiday celebration and ride in his submerged mercedes
- 12/20 HB shows computer illiterate Smokin Joe how to use the
internet-brings up....... http://aslak.uio.no/koststed/2070/vr_k_l.htm
- 12/20 Best friends BigPicture MachoHectorCamacho and Hakio Hardturd
play cards all night long until they pass out
- 12/20 become a sales trainee at 800-449-9301 or do inside sales in
Dallas at (fax) 800-592-5840 or be a laborer at 800-233-2012
- 12/20 Glue sniffer Buckminster Beluga, swimming in a sea of vapors
imagines that 1080 parts of the hour equals a halaquim
- 12/21 Boozebrothers Hakio + Sambo wake up with hangovers- Hardturd, in a stupor, reveals his hero is Pangloss
- 12/21 Reeves loses #105 as Patriots crush Giants 60-0. St. Louis
(Cleveland-LA) Rams slice thru NO like OJ thru Nicoles jugular
- 12/21 uneducated SamtheSham reads books on IQs. Sambo tells the
Chieftain his goal is to raise it from 35 to 140
- 12/21 Sambo and Hardturd do a test at Chiefs cafe-Sambo hits 20
shots--blood pressure is 199/118. After 15 more beers- 227/152
- 12/21 Hakio hits 7 quarts of malt- BP 220/105--then plows down a fifth
of whiskey and 4 bags of corn curls--300/155
- 12/21 EMS called to Craig St bar- rush two comatose tanked up
grandiose derelicks to ER stat
- 12/21 Adams tells Houston officials to shove it! Modell tells
Baltimore officials to take a hike. Cooke tells Barry to go smoke some
hash
- 12/21 AT&T reveals that a incidious virus is spreading within their
switching equipment. Its the** 0059 SPC2 3 headed trojan horse**
- 12/22 Pman has a holiday dinner for his cronies. Invites the United
Brotherhood and Stooge-Lumox Belugas over- a donnybrook ensues
- 12/22 Mr. human-dumpster Doughboy has a holiday dinner for his
sheister colleagues. Scrambled eggs and spam all over the place
- 12/22 To see a dream H. Hardturd had..... bring up ---
http://www.idevelop.com/19csa/vol1/vol1n006/tdd.htm
- 12/22 Washington 7-Dallas 6, Metz 8-Lille 3, Buffalo 33-KC 5,
Jacksonville 40-Atlanta 0, Carolina 20-Pittsburgh 3, Edmonton 7-Detroit 2
- 12/22 Smelly kak Brownbag Walleye invites a bunch of his goon buddies
over for a big beer bash. Nerds demolish everything
- 12/22 Schottenheimer resigns as GM of the Powers to become VP of the
SF Goldenshowers--gets a hefty pay increase
- 12/22 Pilgrims send message to Arecibo Radio telescope-
(------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------)
- 12/22 Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint calls Heroinballs to inform him that the operation he did on August 24 was a failure-he is STILL Heroinballs!
- 12/23 NY Times reports that God is dead (and Lasorda). Dave Cohens
resigns from the Charlotte Hornets to coach the KC Chiefs
- 12/23 AT&T estimates it will cost $500 billion to clean up damage done
by 0059 SPC2 3 headed trojan horse
- 12/23 Hardturd- getting desperate- calls:
800-526-7314/800-325-2657/800-394-2779/800-624-9001/800-323-6016/800-851-4291
- 12/23 Stiffneck Sambo takes his blood pressure all day. Smokin Joe
Pman talks all day. Heroinballs takes drugs all day
- 12/23 Yesman says yes to everything and anything all day. Hakio hits the bottle all day. Lumox-Beluga blows putrid gas all day
- 12/23 King Farouk saves the universe all day. DS writes a calendar all
day. SJMFs are persecuted all day. Buckminster sniffs glue all day
- 12/23 Lilliput has dreams all day. IP has sex all day. Doughboy eats
and takes an ass beating all day. Bigpicture counts his pennies all day
- 12/23 SAA watches soaps all day. Vindictive sheister black-haired
Wigwoman eats and gives her slob hubby an assbeating all day
- 12/24 Brownpants browns his pants all day. PLG gambles all day. Gail eats chocolate all day. Jane C. pursues DS all day.
- 12/24 BFI garbage truck explodes in Fort Pitt tunnel- 32 killed, 107
injured. If you are bankrupt- contact 800-734-3200
- 12/24 Stockmarkets worldwide blow there stacks- up like Sambos BP!
Cyber-porn mutual funds explode. Fidelity Biotech drops 197 points
- 12/24 shamming at work- PLG surfs all over the internet but gets
clogged up at.........http://hem.passagen.se/davidb/
- 12/24 Gorbachev sends Newt hiliday email. Bam sends Heroinballs a big
holiday package (full of drugs). Pman tries to send email to Belize
- 12/24 In a holiday spectacular deal- Brendan Shanahan is traded for
Rodman who is traded for Barry Bonds who is traded for Issac Hayes
- 12/24 Doughboy panics--completely out of Mogen David. Wigheaded bitch
pulvarizes gruesome whimp as a result
- 12/24 Hungry Baluga Beluga- starving after engulfing 3 tubes of
testors- goes to Burger King and plows through 40 Whoppers
- 12/25 Oversized stooge lumox Walleye gets lodged in his chimney- Mr.
Ox eventually breaks free after destroying 1 whole side of the house
- 12/25 BigPicture invites Hardturd over for dinner. They forget that
after 37 shots each however- a fistfight/fiasco ends with both going to jail
- 12/25 Paranoid schizophrenic sheister SJMFs have an exorcism performed on their delapidated dump. Eat raw pork snouts post exorcism
- 12/25 Lonely jabbermouth Pman heads over to the SS to look for some
meat. Hooks up with a 300 lb transvestite who shows him whos boss
- 12/25 The Federal Brotherhood of Stooge-Lumox Belugas has a royal
pigout- raids the Salvation Army soup kitchen like vultures
- 12/25 Heroinballs found dead of a drug overdose- a wallet with $700 found nearby. Inspector Henderson and Paul Drake investigate
- 12/25 Near midnight in the morgue- ooze starts flowing out of HB...every hallucinogenic drug known to man pours out of X-drugking
- 12/25 Gastrointestinal Lumox goes to morgue- sits on dead Heroinballs
face and bombs him with a 30 megaton Burger King flatulance hit
- 12/26 Dead zombie HB- detoxed and rejuvinated by his best friend
Gorilla Brownpants- walks out of the morgue a new man
- 12/26 World media astounded....NY Times headline: DEAD DRUG ADDICT
BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE BY GASTOINTESTINAL NIGHTMARE!
- 12/26 From their jail cell BigPictureSamboRambo and Chief Hardturd
find this------ http://www.tbfm.com/index.htm
- 12/26 Paul Drake plants evidence in HBs former morgue pen. SamtheSham calls TIAA-CREF to get a loan for jail-bail
- 12/26 Police find Pman in a south side sewer naked, beaten to a pulp,
tramatized and nearly dead. Pman begs cops to leave him there
- 12/26 dumbell modern day caveman Buckminster goes hunting- shoots
himself- thinking he is a 2 headed deer
- 12/26 Yeltsin offers to clean up Chernobyl if the US pays for the
entire operation
- 12/26 Mass murder reported in Wynne, Arkansas- 30 killed by a gunman
at Burger King after he ordered a plain Whopper + got 1 with mayo
- 12/27 Dallas demolishes Boston, Roda JC bulldozes Fortuna Sittard,
Phoenix rises over Vancouver, 1860 Munich romps St. Pauli
- 12/27 Unionized Belugas challenge Unionized Wirepullers in a federal
court case. Preliminary hearing set for Sept. 13, 1999
- 12/27 Big boy Lasorda has 12 straight massive heart attacks but
doctors say the prognosis looks great- he may go home tomorrow
- 12/27 From his jail cell Hakio
calls-800-772-4232..800-440-4686..800-887-0170..800-535-6011..800-242-7837..800-252-6466
- 12/27 PM Netanyahu calls Gore and calls him a big stiff. Gore calls
Yeltsin and calls him a lush. Yeltsin calls for a jug of Geritol
- 12/27 PUH interns kick Buckminster caveman out of hospital after he
drops a 20 megaton wrecker that kills a nurse and an orderly
- 12/27 hardened criminals killer SamboRambo + aqualung Hakio break out
of prison.. a local manhunt and APB is in place
- 12/27 Galoot DS searches deep at:
http://www.seti-inst.edu/searches/searches-list.html------- finds nothing
- 12/28 Penguin shows up at SAAs front door looking for a sleeping room.
She refers him to SJMFs dump
- 12/28 After 2 days without drugs (the first time in 30 years)
Heroinballs goes into DTs....hits 41 percosets and smokes 26 Js to compensate
- 12/28 Tornado kills 13 and injures 55 in Pearland, Texas.....In
Chibougamau, Quebec an ice fisherman sees 88 beluga whales mating
- 12/28 masochistic Smokin Joe Porcupine drives to south side...pays to
have the shit beat out of him again
- 12/28 Rock and roll Madonna is pregnant again according to the NY Times-- SAA + Gail set up a small business at Lincoln elementary
- 12/28 Mr. Johnny Cochran sends MachoCamachoRamboStiffneck another
bill- this one for $480,000
- 12/28 Ice Princess heats up with hot boiling sex .....termites grub up
at the foundation of SJMFs dump.....Pman takes a drubbing
- 12/28 A cat move bricks in a garage in Santa Ana, Ca.----DS counts the
lights on the freeway. Hardturd calls 800-328-2338
- 12/29 Sambokillerman gets a (certified-special delivery) letter from
OJ- get that machette back immediately! Or- you are as good as Nicole
- 12/29 Soho burns to the ground. Leeds grows green weeds on sunday as
Furhman cries at a funeral for a friend-- OJ cuts his hand on a glass
- 12/29 lyssophobic Porcupine realizes he is going crazy....goes over to
the SS again and suffers a severe sunday thrashing
- 12/29 dreamer PLG scores again...Pope takes her to Philadelphia to meet Billy Jean King, Elton John, Tom Brokaw + King Farouk
- 12/29 Lilliput gets a job at----------------
http://www.rz.uni-frankfurt.de/~stella/music.html
- 12/29 40 year old cave being Walleye gazes at the stars- then logs
into http://nova.stanford.edu/projects/mgs/dmwr-info.html
- 12/29 Netscape reports that
((http://www.pitt.edu/~dasst14/oldcal4.html)) took 32.7 million hits this
month alone!
- 12/29 Bombadeer Paskahousu sniffs 4 tubes of Testors in a big brown
bag- in a mental quagmire he drops a toilet full in his pants
- 12/30 3rd grade graduate Stiffneck BigPicture gets tangled up in wires
in WPIC...his close friend Hardturd untangles him
- 12/30 Hootie marries Mariah. Seifert tells Fontes he can have a job in
the Bay area. Francois Arouet writes about Cunagonde
- 12/30 Brad Smith reports to NASA that Voyager found unequivocal evidence of alien beings on Umbriel....these are 3 headers
- 12/30 Doughboy and sheister Wighead make cheesballs for tomorrow.
Buckminster Beluga boils up 30 lbs. of kielbassa for tomorrow
- 12/30 SamboShambo, Hakio, Pman, stinking Belugaman and Heroinballs go to Chiefs for a liquid-lunch/blowout
- 12/30 After 30 pints of malt- Heroinballs spills the beans to his
drunken associates--I am really OJ Simpson with dyed skin!--
- 12/30 at midnight, drunk and wallowing in a pool of urine- Chiefs
throws 5 boozehounds out into the street/gutters
- 12/30 Police in riot gear arrest street bums and transport them to
jail. Grandiose Machoman tells cops he is Bjarni Herjolfsson
- 12/31 Waldholtzs bails booze-brothers out of jail. Gails favorite
website::::http://www.lusthome.de/lust/eatk023.htm
- 12/31 PLG dreams that the Pope informs her that Lasorda is the messiah and Rodney Dangerfield will be the next Pope
- 12/31 Iraq bombs Hamah and Asyut. Netanyahu calls for peace. US sends a squadrom of fighter bombers to the middle east
- 12/31 Stockmarket drops 2000 points on news that war is pending. Sambo moves all his capital into Mildew Spores + 1st Jersey Sec.
- 12/31 Pman takes a swim in the Mon. to try and find his mercedes.
Beluga goes with him and pollutes the entire river with ecoli
- 12/31 At midnight millions in the cyber community
explore........http://www.schlund.de/privat/DoetzkiesUwe/Ladja/1.Spieltag.htm
- 12/31 At midnight- sheister SJMFs eat a pigeon they killed in their
attic and pray that they can inherit the entire world for themselves alone
- 12/31 Heroinballs New Year resolution------only 15 demerols and 30
joints a day- NO MATTER WHAT!
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4/08