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Dan Sroka October 1996 Calendar

10/1 At his weekly psychiatric consultation- Brownpants Hbomb Odor King tells his shrink that he is is coprophobic
10/1 Netanyahu meets with Ross Perot. Yasser Arafat meets with Lilliput. Heroinballs meets with his shadow.
10/1 Schuylkill River floods submerging Univ. of PA Gimbel Gym, Meyerson Hall and Ralston House
10/1 At midnight-Heroinballs takes a scarry walk through the graveyard with his stooge buddy Brownbagger Stinkman
10/1 Crack head HB, scared and nervous calms down with... http://www.peregrinepro.com/
10/1 RamboSamboMamboJamboBigPicture converts to Ghibelline
10/1 At his weekly psychiatric consultation- Dave Pman reveals he suffers from genophobia
10/1 Make $30-60,000 annually in a pet industry career--fax your resume--614-775-2575
10/1 After drinking a half gallon of vodka, Bigpicture sees an oxenbird at his birdfeeder-and pink elephants everywhere else
10/2 At his daily psychiatric consultation- Heroinballs is told he suffers from pharacophobia
10/2 Philadelphia flood wrecks WXPN FM, Blockley Hall and the North Arcade
10/2 Sambo finds thousands of ants in his empty vodka jug-consults the internet for help at http://www.orkin.com//page6.htm
10/2 Doughboy- looking for a career enhancement- applies for a janitor job at 412-885-2992
10/2 .........http://pubweb.parc.xerox.com/map/ht=90.00/lat=39.00/lon=-84.92/wd=180.00?269,125
10/2 No experience necessary-call 800-348-7185 X485/////earn $45,000 at 800-513-4343 ext. B2097
10/2 human gorilla (computer wrecker) Hbomb Walleye turns the 61C into a manure farm on wheels
10/2 61C blows up at Forbes and Murray- everyone killed-utter and complete caous
10/2 Hardturd tells his shrink that he is potophobic. Hardturd goes home and calls 800-645-5376
10/3 Idi Amin, new Timex-Sinclair 64k in hand, brings up--- http://www.vol.it/GIT/JUNIOR/Accordi.htm
10/3 Record 23 inch snowfall blasts Miami-Jimmy Johnson calls it quits-Dan Marino moves to Juarez
10/3 NASA reports that Deimos and Phobos have collided. Astronut Walleye-galvanized on glue- says he witnessed it all!
10/3 Hungry hippopatamus DS cyber-slops at http://www.ribsking.com/
10/3 Pman smokes 2 packs of Kents waiting for the bus. Heroinballs smokes wet dank until his head turns blue
10/3 rookie Ghib BigPicture RamboSambo pays his dues--- http://www.arca.net/db/storia/chp7.htm
10/3 Get A free video by calling 800-892-2773 or get FLOORED by calling 800-428-1067
10/3 WPIC fellows meet with BigPicture. Libraryboys meet with Stinkman. Pman meets with a smoke screen.
10/3 Souped up on 3 bottles of Geritol- Yeltsin orders Kremlin to drop a neutron bomb on Drammen
10/3 Black thursday hits Wall Street-ASE-NYSE-NASDAQ all sink like the Titanic
10/4 Montreal pounds Edmonton. OJ pounds Cochran. Doughboy pounds the Mogen David. Gail pounds the chocolate.
10/4 Girls wanted ($20,000)..800-367-2125 x1430.....earn $950 per day! email kevin@web-access.net
10/4 Hardturd, Smokin Joe Pman, SamboMamboJambo and Heroinballs head for a big blowout at Willies Drink-n-Drop
10/4 Doughboy learns that he is suffering from a fatal VD- penile stumpitis. Doughboy panics- smokes 39 straight cigs
10/4 stooge lumox Gastrointestinal nerd Walleye looks up------ http://www.drammensnett.no/tourist/english.html
10/4 Police called to Drink-n-Drop to pick up 4 drunken carcasses and transport to south side jail
10/4 Kenny Ross reveals that Aunt Penny has actually been dead for 11 years- in the basement in formaldehyde
10/4 SAA, PLG, DS and Jane C scrounge up $400 to bail drunkard bums out of SS lockup
10/4 CNN states that 8 headed aliens have left Triton and are headed for Earth. NASA vehemently denies this
10/5 Iron Sheik wins WWF title by sticking his boot down Mankinds throat. Backlund and Mr. Perfect spar post victory
10/5 call 800-242-1364 to earn $500 a week at home. Get a Postal job ($67,125) 800-513-4343 ext P2097
10/5 Fall Creek and Beebe Lake flood...Purcell Center-Olin Hall-Teagle Hall and Warren Hall submerged
10/5 sobbing hysterical sheister Doughboy has his sharlitan-quasi-legal cousin record his nuncupative will
10/5 stooge lumox Gastrointestinal nerd Walleye looks up------ http://wwwflag.wr.usgs.gov/wall/triton.html
10/5 Hakio Hardturd calls 800-346-7824 + 800-999-3336 + 800-880-3394 + 800-322-2082
10/5 Smokin Joe Pman calls 800-648-5872 + 800-766-5372 + 800-547-7867 + 800-323-1126
10/5 diseased slob-Doughboy calls 800-458-5231 + 800-584-7972 + 800-281-2437 + 800-627-7769
10/6 killer earthquakes wreck Imphal, Jaipur, Port Blair, Shillong and Simla...over 975,000 dead
10/6 Clear-eyed SamboRambo sees a purple gallinule at his feeder and pink elephants everywhere else
10/6 Denver 39-SD 11, Carolina 10-Minn. 0, Hamilton 59-Saskatchewan 40, Cincinnati 3-Houston 0, Chicago 0-GB 0 (OT)
10/6 spaceman gluesniffer Brownbag Walleye studies Procyon A and learns that its surface temp. is 6708 k.
10/6 after NE pulvarizes the Ravens- Modell hits the sterno and views http://zeus.towson.edu/~ewilke1/ravens.html
10/6 George Bush tells Dole to go chew some tobacco. Kemp and Gore have a punt-pass and kick competition
10/6 quiver-liver lips Doughboy calls all his SJMF relatives to broadcast his pending death
10/6 call 800-474-4777 for your balance. To complain of discrimination call 800-669-9777
10/6 ABC reports that 4 headed alien beings are on their way to Earth-having left Titan 30 days ago
10/7 Peter Framton un-retires and records -Do I Feel Like You Feel? Otis Redding reconstituted from Wisc. lake water
10/7 Foreman slims down to 370 lbs for a title fight against Buster Douglas (369 lbs)
10/7 Stinkman + Pman burn down WPIC- Stinkman provides the gas and Pman provides the ignition
10/7 PLG, drug king Heroinballs and Jane C visit the graveyard.....it was scarry but they made it through
10/7 RAW action- Psycho Sid pins Triton 8-head, Marlena disqualified against Vince and Sunny floors Lawler
10/7 Internet nuts go crazy....http://www.planetary.org/tps/titan.html.....takes 3.7 million hits today alone
10/7 SJMFs take sick Doughboy to Dr. Quack to have his penile stump cut off-as a last ditch effort to save fatboys life
10/7 Purace volcano blows its stack. Monday mass murder report: 13 killed in Canton, 7 slaughtered Karasjok
10/8 At his weekly psychiatric consultation- shitpants Hbomb Odorman tells his shrink that he is is anthropopphobic
10/8 call Dana at 800-775-4871 or call Susanna in Charlottesville at 800-843-8276
10/8 Webcounter turns off tap for http://www.isr.co.jp/solarsystem/titan.html as it gets bombarded with 40 million hits
10/8 Smokin Joe Pman tells his shrink hes stopped smoking as he chews 14 nicotine patches and consumes a case of snuff
10/8 slob Doughboy (stumpless) sent home- he calls 800-243-7889, 800-342-2437 and 800-344-7432
10/8 Clinton and Gore invite Kemp to breakfast at the White House. Dole is snubbed- has breakfast with Heroinballs
10/8 HB gives Dole a big plate of pancakes with a (hidden) foot long sausage in between. HB + Dole pig out
10/8 SamboClambo mails his resume for a (STOCK CLERK) position to-PO Box 400, Youngstown OH 44501
10/9 SAA eats a can of cake icing and informs DS that she has odontophobia. Walleye dumps a bucket full on 5th Ave
10/9 CBS reports that 2 headed aliens are on their way to Earth-these ones came from Umbriel
10/9 SJMF Doughboy fires up his Texas Instrument 64k and tunes in http://www.fnk.com/flood/ATFv2n3.html
10/9 Endomychura hypoleuca seen at SamtheShams feeder. SamtheSham, Heroinballs and Pman walk thru the graveyard
10/9 Fidelity Contra drops $79.3 million, US Bridge goes bankrupt, Griffin MM skyrockets and Uniflex gets all bent up
10/9 Dave Pman- still trying to send email to Belize comes across http://iris.bsd.uchicago.edu/~jrr/4letters.html
10/9 Ghib BigPictureMamboSambo sues HB for promissory estoppel
10/10 Trashed on 4 bottles of Geritol- Yeltsin orders Kremlin to drop a neutron bomb on Stavanger
10/10 gambler PLG puts $200 straight on 1313, $400 boxed on 1010, $37 50-50 on 1260 and $99 on quick-picks
10/10 become a steelman-fax resume to 610-208-2223.....$65,000= 800-366-1933
10/10 Clean Hardturd checks out 800-635-9899..800-647-0042..800-252-6465..800-635-3505 + 800-782-1113
10/10 Visit --- http://www.eas.asu.edu/~drapkin/556/teiresias --- Modell trades Ravens to Cleveland for Oilers
10/10 vindictive ruthless SJMFs pay $20 to hitman to wipe out stooge lumox Gastrointestinal nerd Walleye
10/10 Hbomb stinkman gets excited at http://www.entrenet.com/mizar/nearstar.html--hits 2 bags of glue in celebration
10/10 Mr. Pillsbury Doughboy consults a pseudo-voodoo Shaman about an artificial penile implant...he is stone stumped!
10/11 pennyless gambler PLG calls on bankruptcy (800-249-5232) + Doughboy calls for divorce (800-486-4070)
10/11 Ravens become Browns as Colts become Oilers and Oilers become Ravens. Baltimore becomes Cleveland , etc.
10/11 Indianapolis becomes New Orleans, St. Paul becomes Fort Worth, Denver swaps with Tacoma and so on
10/11 Lumox galute Buckminster Brownpants writes NASA telling them that the earths surface area is 196,950,001 sq. m.
10/11 NASA sends stooge computer wrecker Brownpants email telling him that he is full of constipation
10/11 Gastrointestinal nerd Walleye hires Paul Drake to get the scoop on SJMFs- particularly slob Doughboy
10/11 SamboBigPictureRubberneck puts up a bird feeder in the graveyard then hits a fifth of imported Scotch
10/11 International Brotherhood of Unionized ISDN Cable Pullers lobbys for a local chapter...odds look good for success!
10/12 Save $27,000!!!!! call- 800-245-6824. Get $30-55,000.....fax 800-249-1129
10/12 Platapus head Lilliput gets her kicks at__________http://www.orst.edu/~dickt/playroom/playroom.html
10/12 Chef Baluga Stinkman cooks up stewed gastointestinal murderer pigs feet-eats it all-and erupts like a volcano
10/12 Wilmerding Sambo buys a burial plot in North Versailles for $200 and starts digging immediately
10/12 In the WWF Psycho Sid wins the title then sells it to Bob Bachlund for a shot at the presidency
10/12 Hakio- still looking- calls 800-543-6543, 800-922-7703, 800-987-8040, 800-367-2727 + 800-932-0912
10/12 A big pep-rally draws thousands for the International Brotherhood of Unionized ISDN Cable Pullers downtown
10/12 Drake reports to Buckminster Brownpants- but he passes out as odoriferous stinkbucket lets out another wave
10/12 Edmonton wrecks BC Lions 77-0. Nash and Hall bludgeon Flair and Dusty Rhodes. NASA launches a secret rocket
10/13 someone tries to kill Buckminster BFS Gluesniffer but he wards them off with a big invisible smoke (odor) screen
10/13 Zyuganov meets with Yeltsin about Geritol, Netanyahu meets with CIA about Perot and HB meets with himself
10/13 web-surfer Lilliput foams at the mouth seeing--- http://www.sff.net/people/pitman/hell.htm
10/13 man found buried in a N. Versailles grave-head exposed-with a big jug of vodka (half empty) nearby
10/13 Minn. destroys TB, Jacksonville slaughters the NYJ, Indy skims Baltimore and Dallas pulvarizes Arizona
10/13 Heroinballs and Glueman Walleye walk through the N. Versailles graveyard looking for exposed heads
10/13 Penguin, Grommie + Wallace travel to Siberia for a vist with Raskolnikov
10/13 Get your own beer distributorship...call 814-226-7031. Become a sales rep. at 800-484-5297
10/14 Monday mass murder report: 30 dead in Columbus, 12 slaughtered in DC, 6 wiped out in Sacramento
10/14 GB and SF tie in OT. Call 800-676-9011 for an abortion. SamboRamboHambone hits Chiefs alone for 48 malts
10/14 Stinkfest Buckminster dreams he is in the middle of a volcano on Venus + gives himself an enema in his sleep
10/14 IP recruits SJMFs to have DS wiped out. Doughboy catches Paul Drake snooping around his dump + has him arrested
10/14 cheapskate SJMFs get their daily news for free.....http://www.pic.net/tdmn/tdmn.html
10/14 Beerbelly Hardturd calls 800-235-7759, 800-331-2900, 800-344-9006, 800-771-5009 + 800-822-3272
10/14 Lilliput, Gail, SAA and Heroinballs walk through the graveyard. Heroinballs falls in an open grave and panics
10/15 At his weekly psychiatric consultation- goon Brownbag Brownpants tells his shrink he has constipation
10/15 Meg Ryan, Heather Locklear and Jamie Lee Curtis conspire to kill DS after they chop off his ears
10/15 Heavy rains flood Simon Hall, Nelson Field House, Kehr Union Bldg. and WBUQ FM
10/15 Urazumikhim informs Grommie, Penguin and Wallace that they better get the hell out of here
10/15 Washington lottery pays out $57 million as 123 hits. Call Connie Lewis at 800-447-9403
10/15 Drake reports to human stinkbomb Walleye that Doughboy is dying of aids. Stinkman suggests --gasing him out!--
10/15 Dr. Quack informs slob-pig Doughboy he has mad cow disease. Doughboy goes on another martyr trip
10/15 HB enjoys---- http://www.gov.sg/mha/mhahq/cnb/pde1.html. SJMFs roto-til their barren soil and eat worms
10/16 New York Times reports that psychotic triple headed aliens have arrived in NYC (these ones from Oberon)
10/16 Dave Smokin Joe Pman smokes 3 packs of generic cigs. Buckminster inhales 3 bags of airplane glue
10/16 killer bees attack Ghib BigPictureMamboSambo- rushed to ER in critical condition
10/16 Buckminster Hbomb rubbernecks to http://wea.mankato.mn.us/tps/oberon.html
10/16 (feeling sorry for human-slob/part animal Doughboy) PLG writes him a check for $12,000
10/16 HB, stoned on valium/crack/wet dank/MD20-20 sees 8 headed aliens in the graveyard-breaks out in a cold cold sweat
10/16 Harturd calls 800-247-7505 + 800-279-3321 + 800-827-1362 + 800-542-2237 + 800-448-3376
10/16 Doughboy uses his $12,000 gift for a trip to the Tower of Babel. Slob begs Nebuchadnezzar to save him
10/17 MachoCamachoBigpicture put in ICU...pulse 12, BP 50/27. WPIC fellows IV him to a 55 gallon drum of Blatz
10/17 Gastro-nightmare BFS Brownpants converts to Skinheadism stating --IUll take everyone down!!!--
10/17 web-surfer Lilliput foams at the mouth seeing--- http://www.fas.harvard.edu/~stribble/sw/index.html
10/17 Meg Ryan, Heather Locklear and Jamie Lee Curtis spotted in graveyard with halicunating Heroinballs
10/17 In a coma- SamboBeehive dreams he is Virgil in purgatory, then hell- and imagines he hits on 1302 for $7 million
10/17 WPIC fellows report BigPictureComatoseSambo (pulse 10, BP 40/22) is speaking an alien language on 8 levels
10/17 Paul Drake meets with stooge Baluga to give him important info on Doughboy but he is (again) gassed out by BFS
10/17 Clinton conference calls Yeltsin to inform him that NASA has confirmed 6 headed aliens near Epsilon Indi
10/17 Near death- Sambo has a vision that he is Dionysos. Nebuchadnezzar tells slob Doughboy he is nothing but a sharlitan!!
10/18 BFS Diarrhea King orders a personal 10 inch dildo from http://www.vg.no/vg/96/02/25/51fjernet.html
10/18 Winnipeg 30, Hamilton 19. Sheister Doughboy and his stinking wife thrown out of Tower in disgrace
10/18 Jane C drinks Ovaltine and views ~~~~~~~http://neon.ingenia.com/~emacd/ody.html
10/18 Rodion Romanovich puts Wallace, Grommie and Penguin on a cargo plane headed for Maine
10/18 Call Shirlee--800-242-9695 x251...work at home earning $500-700 wk------800-842-1409
10/18 Chief US stiff Al Gore meets with Chief Soviet stiff Boris Yeltsin. They shoot the breeze and exchange ideas
10/18 spaceman gluesniffer Brownpants Walleye studies Procyon B and learns that its surface temp. is 32,000 k.
10/18 PLG and Jane C chat over Reeses Cups-remembering the good old days. PLG asks Jane C for a $12,000 loan
10/19 spend $200,000 by calling 800-949-2262................... Try $300,000 at 800-355-0166
10/19 with a pirated cruz missle Field Marshal Rommel attempts to shoot down Maine bound cargo plane
10/19 Doctors say SamboMoneyman is near the end. Family and friends summoned to hospital bed for final respects
10/19 Hakio HT, PLG, Smokin Pman, Gail, Lilliput, DS, SJMFs, SAA, + IP crowd around dying human beehive
10/19 wrecked Heroinballs (sobbing hysterically) and Buckminster Qball (quarantined)-not permitted to see Mr. Money
10/19 Final gifts presented to Sambo--Pman (pack of cigs), PLG ( library card), SJMFs (nothing), SAA (can of snuff) cont.
10/19 DS (garlic pods), Hardturd (empty beer bottle), Lilliput (picture of beer bottle) + IP (cold steel stilletto)
10/19 Heroinballs gives an ounce of crack coke and quarantined Stinkbomb gives a brown bag full of dried glue
10/19 Everyone escorted out of Macho(dying)BigPictures room as pulse goes to 2 and BP goes to -23/-17
10/20 New York Times reports that Arnold Palmer would have given Sambo $20 million had he only lived!
10/20 Closet weirdo Qball Baluga buys more dildo accessories from http://virtumall.com/GO/DildoHarnesses.html
10/20 Steelers 16, Oilers 12--Toronto 50, Edmonton 9--St. Louis 14, Jacksonville 0--Redskins 52, Giants 51
10/20 Priest, Rabbi and Minister give final rights to nearly dead modern day Ghibelline
10/20 Fellows pronounce SamtheSham a Deadman at high noon. Fellows take his carcass to the basement-formaldahyde
10/20 While assending to heaven- SamboHambones spirit is diverted by 8, 6 and 4 headed aliens in the 13th dimension
10/20 Aliens- speaking in 93 different tongues simultaneously- tell Dante look-a-like he is Ferdinand of Aragon
10/20 Aliens- warbeling like a billion birds - tell Ferdinand to go back to WPIC + look for Isabella
10/20 Mr. Hardturd dials 800-300-6716, 800-722-0100, 888-792-5800, 800-992-3671 and 800-445-4232
10/21 At his daily psychiatric consultation- Heroinballs tells his shrink he cant take the pressure-he is going nuts!!!!!
10/21 In a river of tears, blurry-eyed Buckminster Stinkbomb views::::::::http://alfa.nic.in/intro/pan7.htm
10/21 SamboBigPictureQuasiBullman is found walking around in the WPIC basement-smelling like formaldahyde
10/21 WPIC fellows fall like flies...heart attacks-strokes-nervous breakdowns-psychosis-schizophrenia..everything
10/21 Wall Street goes hog-wild as a dead man has come back to life......billions worldwide wonder what this all means?????
10/21 mass murders everywhere-entire world has gone hysterical- hangings-stabbings-shootings-voluntary self-sacrifices
10/21 Planet Earth consumed with miracle stories about Sambo the reincarnated Bull-man---scientists flabbergasted/stunned
10/21 Psychiatrist analyze world hero....find he is totally normal (physically) other than being full of vodka/gin and scotch
10/21 Dan Rather gets exclusive interview with SamboFerdinand. He is Satan to some and the Messiah to others.
10/22 Get a $25,000 pigeon at http://texnews.com/news/pigeon091496.html....earn $25-32,000 at 614-593-2546
10/22 In a deep depression after taking 30 B52s-Heroinballs goes lower than the Mariana Trench
10/22 Tanked up Hardturd passes out-- http://www.chron.com/content/interactive/space/mars/pressrel/mars0814.html
10/22 CNN pays world savior Ghibelline Sambo $22 million to film his story....Sambo puts $20 million in Mildew Spores Inc.
10/22 Dow closes at record high 7932 as investors put billions in Mildew Spores and other penny stocks
10/22 After giving himself a clorox enema-Stooge Baluga enrolls in dildo acad.-- http://calvin.stemnet.nf.ca/~jlafitte/school/
10/22 Smokin Pman enjoys 2 cartons of Kents before catching the bus to work. Baluga and Pman get into a fist fight on the bus
10/22 KGB wants to put SamboBigPictureQuasiBullman through a multitude of tests. WPIC fellows give a resounding NO!
10/23 Lilliput barfs on http://www.pluggedin.org//nathan/acp/acp2.gif + http://www.hrtrains.com/trains/99060.htm
10/23 Hardturd tells his shrink that he is an alien from Saturn and shrink and Hardturd get into a fist fight in his office
10/23 bloody Hardturd calls 800-450-0273, 800-258-4042, 800-621-3426, 800-237-2122 + 800-662-2438
10/23 Heather Locklear, Jamie Lee Curtis + Meg Ryan seen snooping around DS house. Paranoid SJMFs panic
10/23 PLG, dopey Heroinballs and Jane C visit the graveyard...they find 8 heads laying around
10/23 Graveyard oddballs run faster than Pheidippides...Heroinballs trips and falls in an open grave-4 headed alien there
10/23 Drake reports to human stinkbomb Walleye that Doughboy is really a woman. Mr. Stink wants to meet her
10/23 Jane C scopes out http://www.ping.be/%7Eping6197/history.html
10/23 International Brotherhood of Unionized ISDN Cable Pullers holds an election-union voted in unanimously-vote 5-0
10/24 High on a bottle of Tiger Rose, PLG bombs 800-435-5663..800-225-5996..800-628-8725..800-847-4872, etc.....
10/24 Boston sewers clogged as human diarrhea factory Buckminster Hbomb lets out a tidal wave-59 overcome by stench!!!!
10/24 Dole tells Clinton he will win in Nov. or he will trade Kemp for Gore and Elizabeth for Tipper
10/24 Clinton tells Dole he is an antiquated wind-bag. A verbal fiasco developes and both are ushered away to holding pens
10/24 stuppored/bobbing and weaving PLG somehow finds######### http://mafalda.univalle.edu.co/ingeominas.html
10/24 Dave Pman smokes 16 straight cigars (inhaling) and secures a corvette for $12,500 at 814-255-1260
10/24 DS rushed to PUH emergency with both ears chopped off...Ryan, Locklear and Curtis NOT seen
10/24 slob sheister Doughboy finds two ears and eats both- bloody and raw. Grommie punches Penguin right in his beak
10/24 Celebrity Sambo gets a hair transplant at Dr. Dominics and then tells Dan Rather about purgatory, Virgil, etc.
10/25 newly formed chapter 69 of International Brotherhood of Unionized ISDN Cable Pullers meets with Hardturd in private
10/25 become an Admin Asst.- fax resume to Debbie at 412-788-2309::General Manager-fax-216-498-4154
10/25 Heroinballs writes a letter to Specter telling him that NAFTA is interfering with his drug dealing + he wants it stopped!
10/25 frustrated Hardturd has a 15 martini lunch at Liverlips Bar + Grill...he and Sambo play cards and hit the bottles
10/25 unshaven human grizzly bear Buckminster Brownpants wanders into Liverlips B+G...3 stooges get into a big fist fight
10/25 PUH plastic surgeons implant 2 deer ears on DS skull.. post-surgery Heroinballs and Smokin Pman visit garlic breath
10/25 PLG reads cyber news------ http://www.chron.com/content/interactive/space/mars/stories/marsreax.html
10/25 Gail gets really pissed and punches SAA when she finds___http://oberon.pps.pgh.pa.us/~sanderso/home.html
10/26 drunkard bar-room brawlers Hardturd, Sambo and Stinkman wake up in a south side gutter....stoned
10/26 Boston Boro sewer authority sends Gastrointestinal Murderer Hbomb a bill for $35,900 for sewer unclogging
10/26 WWF champ Psycho Sid pins Vince McManon in a no-holds-barred cage match..Freddie Blassie has a party
10/26 HB hits wet dank, crack, homicide, eightball, dreamer morphine + bolt then walks through the graveyard
10/26 Doughboys gruesome wife slops down 14 egg bagels then provides human manure fertilizer for front yard rototilling
10/26 Brad Smith reports that NASA has unequivocal proof of 8 headed aliens living on planets orbiting Lalande 21185
10/26 Annihalated on 5 bottles of Geritol- Yeltsin orders Kremlin to drop a neutron bomb on Oslo
10/26 Chieftain Hakio Hardturd calls 800-992-1921, 800-745-3334, 800-544-1211, 800-632-3697 + 800-854-9211
10/27 Blurry-eyed hung-over SamtheSham views.... http://www.wi-inf.uni-essen.de/wiinf/image-guide/essen.html
10/27 Calgary 57, Edmonton 0--SF 77, Houston 3--Carolina 9, Phila. 7--Toronto 46, British Columbia 31
10/27 hungry cheakskate sham-artists SJMFs kill and eat their dog-bones and all
10/27After drinking a half gallon of gin, Bigpicture sees a frog at his birdfeeder-and pink elephants everywhere else
10/27 Miami pounds Dallas/GB crushes TB/Ravens destroy Rams/Buffalo tweeks NE/Detroit slaps up NYG
10/27 Astronomer-nerd Stinkman Gluesniffer inhales=====http://www2.ari.net/home/odenwald/results.html
10/27 PUH surgeons send DS home with an incurable case of rabies...Doughboy traps a racoon and eats it w/ bagels
10/28 pill popping drug czar Heroinballs tells his shrink he is changing his name...to Nanak Varhamana Abdul-Alibaba II
10/28 Monday murder report: 14 decapitated in Houston , 9 shot in Halifax, 9 electrocuted in Liverpool
10/28 Tornado destroys Gisborne, N. Zealand. Tidal wave smashes Volos, Greece. Aliens invade Kelang, Malaysia
10/28 Lottery tip---Massachusetts number for today---1028. Lilliput calls 800-772-7468 for Russian Space vodka!
10/28 foaming at the mouth and playing Warren Zevon endlessly- DS chained down in a WPIC padded cell
10/28 Modell calls Al Davis who calls Jones who calls Jack Kent Cook who calls Shottenheimer who calls Barry Foster etc.
10/28 CBS news bulletin stops the world: Lalande 21185 8 headed aliens are ON THE EARTH!
10/28 http://hkein.ie.cuhk.hk/Education/astronomy/planets/nineplanets/neptune.html...takes 3 million hits today alone
10/28 SAA, disgusted with everything, packs up her bags and flies out to Oakland CA
10/29 become an internal auditor---800-453-5708. Get a franchise---800-305-1256. Get a job---800-837-4473
10/29 FREE offer::::http://www.mainfloor.com/special_offer.html. HB has spinal shivers after smoking 10 foot long blunts
10/29 Wall street falls over 3000 points as rumors run rampant that 8 headed aliens have been seen in Malaysia
10/29 World in utter caous-mass suicides globally. Clinton and Kohl call for reason. Yeltsin calls for a big jug.
10/29 Space Cadet Buckminster Hbomb starts talking in eight languages simultaneously. WPIC fellows lock him up
10/29 Nanak Varhamana Abdul-Alibaba II travels into the 4th dimension with Leary. Says its heaven here on earth
10/29 sharlitan SJMFs cash in on latest pandemonium-telling KQV that they are aliens from Procyon A (incognito)
10/29 Dole and Kemp view-- http://www.star.le.ac.uk/edu/solar/titania.html--on teleprompters-Dole falls off the stage
10/29 Rabid DS and jabbering Bigmouth Hbomb Stinkman get into a big fiasco and wreck WPIC. Sambo pulls wires in WPIC
10/30 Eight headed + 4 headed aliens spoted throughout Asia, Europe and Africa. Pope calls for harmony and prayer
10/30 Field Marshal Rommel joins forces with Idi Amin to eradicate any and all aliens from the face of the planet
10/30 Lloyd Bridges reports that there are billions of quad and octi-headed aliens in the oceans
10/30 RamboSamboMamboJamboBigPicture converts to octogonal-pseudo-voodoo-worship + Hardturd follows
10/30 Confused/lost Hardturd calls 800-722-5044, 800-327-9201, 800-628-7326, 800-544-5101, 800-541-5433, etc.
10/30 Hardturd, Smokin Joe Pman, SamboMamboJambo and Heroinballs head for a big blowout at the 8-Ball Cafe
10/30 jabbering Bigmouth forked-tongue Stinkman and wild animal DS still fighting in WPIC padded cell
10/30 fearing for her life, surfer PLG bookmarks ---- http://svr.togane-ghs.togane.chiba.jp/TNP/nineplanets/umbriel.html
10/30 schizophrenic Nanak Varhamana Abdul-Alibaba II has a brain implosion- MRI reveals a total vacuum in his skull
10/31 stiff-wooden Yeltsin, Clinton, Sagan + FM Rommel meet in Brussels on the alien invasion epidemic
10/31 8-Ball Cafe throws 4 horizontal comatose zombies out in the street at 4:40 am- cops transport drunks to prison
10/31 Petronas Tower held hostage by Lalande 21185 eight headers. Yeltsin downs 8 bottles of Geritol
10/31 ABC reports that 4 headed alien beings from Titan have been spotted in Cleveland + Carlsbad, NM
10/31 George Bush declares Texas off limits/quarantined (due to aliens)...see...http://www.express-news.net/
10/31 all worldwide stockmarkets crash...over $832,561,028,193,010,726,200,838,022,912,000,000.00 gone!!!!!!
10/31 call the alien hotline---888-888-8888
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- Dan Sroka's Digital Diarrhea
- satire-by-sroka
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Dan Sroka October 1996 Calendar

Copyright © Dan Sroka, 9/21/96, 4/08