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Dan Sroka August 1996 Calendar
- 8/1 Termites picket/strike sheister-cheapskate-dougboys delapidated
house-no quality wood to eat
- 8/1 Reborn moondog Brownpants Walleye rides his bicycle to Atlanta
intending to bust the games with a sulfur Hbomb
- 8/1 Clinton says there is no corruption in the White House.
Mild-spirited Dole orders CIA to investigate matters
- 8/1 Cleveland Bulldykes whip Yellowbuckets 27-1 to win PISS eastern
championship
- 8/1 Angela Beck sells Irvin 2 blunts...smoked up he drops 4 bullet
passes and fumbles 9 times in scrimage
- 8/1 Irvin and Bam Morris crack-out at Texas Stadium...sell grade
school kids 10 oz. of opium
- 8/1 Marge tells Smiley he will have to take a pay cut so that she can
have a new stadium built over the Ohio River
- 8/1 Maryland Highway Patrol arrests Stinkman Bikester Hbomb outside
of Salisbury for stealing/eating chickens
- 8/1 Rydex Nova mutual fund declares bankruptsy...Riverboat gambler
BigPicture calls broker on possible buy-up
- 8/1 Atlanta melts as heatwave forces indefinate cancellation of
games....131 degrees in the shade
- 8/2 SF rips Footlongs 8-1. Goldenshowers coach resigns to take a
position with Baltimore Ravens
- 8/2 Jailbird Buckminster Brownpants calls Purdue directly asking for feathers, vermiculite and a case of Testors glue
- 8/2 call John Ciccotelli at 800-282-1078
- 8/2 Redskins 20, Buffalo 0....Raiders pound Arizona 44 to
3....Greenbay smashes NE 71-39
- 8/2 Seeking a sauna-bath PLG Greyhounds to Atlanta for $30 one-way
(800-231-2222)
- 8/2 Bam signs a contract with the Saints for 200 lbs of Chinese
hash...runs at lightning speed from Texas to Ponchartrain
- 8/2 FAA reports a strange baluga shaped bird flying over
Hagerstown.....glue odors all over everything
- 8/2 Mark Portugal donates $3.1 million of his salary to help Marge
build a new stadium over the Ohio River
- 8/2 Modell tells Ravens that they must win tomorrow or the whole team
will be traded!!!!
- 8/3 Secret Service, FBI and CIA all converge on Hagerstown area in
search of Flying Beluga Rooster Jailbird
- 8/3 Get a toilet at 800-272-2291 and get (scottish water/french
drink) piped into it at 800-444-0017
- 8/3 Psycho Sid wins WWF heavy title by pinning Sabel. Marlena defeats
Mankind in a no-holds-barred cage match
- 8/3 Goldenshowers beat Footlongs 1-0 to win the western championship
- 8/3 Fax your resume to Randy DeFazio.........610-992-0442
- 8/3 NYJ sweat all over the Oilers 10-0 in Mississippi and Marge
watches Bengals get pounded by Colts 39-3
- 8/3 Jean Houston consults with Eleanor over dodecahedron transmitter
- 8/3 Rams wreck Steelers 7-0 and Flying Rooster Glueman crashes Ravens home debut against Phila...Ravens forfeit game
- 8/4 Drooling Heroinballs soaks it all up at http://www.nepenthes.xo.com/
- 8/4 Baltimore lockup evacuated as Feather covered
Buckminster-odor-factory lets a 30 megaton eruption out
- 8/4 PLG, sweating like a gorilla in the amazon, arrives at Fulton
county. Accuweather predicts 140 today
- 8/4 Millionaire Rambo/Sambo checks on retirement deals at
800-741-0623 and 800-324-5523
- 8/4 Gail (eating 2 lbs of chocolate) meets with SAA to propose a new
Olympic event- chocolate candy wolfing
- 8/4 Maryland authorities expell BFS Gluesniffer Liquidpants from
state forever. Given 3 hours to get out of MD borders!
- 8/4 PLG breaks in to Woodson estate. Arrested and jailed in
underground cavern
- 8/4 Garlic-breathed DS passes out from his own stinking body
odors...rushed to PUH emergency room
- 8/4 Earthquake levels Poznan as 13,500 reported killed. Castro and
Heroinballs light up wet dank footlongs in Havana
- 8/5 Exiled Gastointestinal BFS Hbomb, suffering from a massive
internal clog, drinks a gallon of sauer kraut juice
- 8/5 (Suffering from continued gastrointestinal caous) Hbomb reads--
http://www.mindspring.com/%7Ehealthy/vrex.html
- 8/5 Irving drops 7 bulls eye passes and fumbles 14 times as the
Cowboys get a wrecking by KC 38-0 in Mexico
- 8/5 Delayed Olympic games moved to Antartica. Atlanta temperature
reaches 151 in the shade
- 8/5 Super cheapskate sheister
Doughboy, penny-pinching as usual, wallpapers his livingroom with stollen newspapers
- 8/5 Bulldykes pound Goldenshowers 13-5 in game one of PISS championships
- 8/5 Machoman BigBucks orders the Euroblaster at 800-862-8877
- 8/5 Marge bails PLG out of jail on the condition that she actively
solicit funds for her new stadium over the Ohio
- 8/5 SJMF cheapskates order a dozen (irregular) wigs from Eva Gabor
and check on impotence at www.for-men.com
- 8/6 Walleye Brownpants checks out
http://www.exnet.iastate.edu/Pages/families/fs/inftox.html due to his problem
- 8/6 Goldenshowers wreck Bulldykes 13-5 in game 2. Heroinballs and
Brownbagger attend game in Cleveland-stoned
- 8/6 Major floods devistate Savannah- 6 inches of rain in 3 hours
- 8/6 PLG sets up a home page for Marge/Reds/Hamilton County/Ohio
River...millions brought in as a result
- 8/6 Transvestite human-pig Doughboy pounded to a blubbery pulp at a
southside slophouse-trashed in the street
- 8/6 Sun Myung Moon reports he will conquer and subjugate the world-
Pillsbury Fatboy worries and sweats
- 8/6 Olympic games re-start in Antartica with Grommie, Wallace and
Penguin only attendees
- 8/6 Beerbelly Hardturd calls off work sick after consuming 31 malts and a pint of vodka at a southside slophouse
- 8/6 Dole tells Ridge to -shove it!-. Ridge tells mild-spirited Dole
to go eat a bucket of uncooked kaluski noodles
- 8/7 DS orders chinese food at
http://celias.com/celias/order.form.html....triple cooked pork in raw
garlic sauce
- 8/7 Buckminster Hbomb Brownpants calls Doctors Referal service at
888-537-9069 after clogging up Boston sewers
- 8/7 Chatham county declared federal disaster area...US Govt sends 100
billion dollars in $100 bills via USPS
- 8/7 Sheister Doughboy calls 800-732-7645 for a quantity-discount on getting all his periodontal disease eliminated
- 8/7 Bulldykes slice up the Goldenshowers 15-0 before 46,990 fans in
Calif.
- 8/7 Buckminster Liquidpants calls Doctors Referal service at 800-622-7373 after contaminating Yough
- 8/7 Allegheny County Hazmat sets up emergency #s for Yough
contamination..800-272-4141 or 800-245-4090
- 8/7 Modell informs Ravens they must win this weekend game or he will
move the team back to Cleveland
- 8/7 Javier Sotomayor sets a world high jump mark at 8 ft. 3
inches...wins frozen Gold medal at -99 degrees
- 8/8 Jets blast Philadelphia 19-3 as the Vikings horsewhip Buffalo 77-0
- 8/8 61,000 fans watch their Goldenshowers be humiliated 17-0 by the
rough-tough Cleveland Bulldykes
- 8/8 Fatboy Sheister-pig checks on getting wooden teeth implants at
800-932-0783
- 8/8 11 people killed in mass-murder in W. Helena, Arkansas
- 8/8 Erebus volcano erupts in Antartica- Olympics cancelled a second
time. Penguin, Wallace + Gromie leave quickly
- 8/8 Raiders 11, Seahawks 10 in OT. Air-antartica 747 blows up over
Wellington- 199 killed instantly
- 8/8 All flushed out after a boiling enema- Brownpants takes a bike
ride along the railroad tracks at midnight
- 8/8 Hurricane Nostradamus plows in to Savannah GA...city completely
wiped off the map
- 8/9 St. Louis 67, Jacksonville 11. Lions 40, Redskins 39.
- 8/9 Bulldykes win PISS championship as they massacre SF 28-0 before 103,567 fans
- 8/9 MachomanRamboSamboBigPictureRubberneckMoneybags takes a boat to Mahajanga, Madagaskar on yet another trip
- 8/9 CBS News reports gold discovered in Belize.
MachomanRamboSamboBigPictureRubberneckMoneybags diverts ship
- 8/9 Dave Pman charters a JetTrain to Belmopan for $59. Recruits
Stinkman Walleye, Heroinballs + Hardturd
- 8/9 JetTrain express to Belize emergency lands near Santa Clara,
Cuba. Heroinballs walks to Havana for a crack hit
- 8/9 BigPictureBigBucks steers ship to Gulf of Honduras...$$$$ signs
in his eyes
- 8/9 Heroinballs takes 10 thorazine pills and passes into a severe
coma-Hbomb ressurects drug addict with fumes
- 8/10 Hardturd, stranded in central Cuba, calls JetTrain
(800-221-1212) for a flight to Savannah
- 8/10 In Belmopan, Mr. Money orders a limo at 800-642-4546 and 47 cans
of tropical bug spray
- 8/10 Cleveland has a big parade downtown to honor the beloved
Bulldykes- 250,000 jam Euclid
- 8/10 Carolina 31, Denver 7- KC 15, NO 0-San Fran 41, San Diego 13
- 8/10 Fidelity Contra Fund drops 13.1 points and the market is not
even in business!!!
- 8/10 Giants wreck Ravens 74-0 at Meadowlands...in a rampage post-game Art cuts half the team
- 8/10 Buckminster Gastointestinal Nightmare and his doped up buddy deported to Miami-Hardturd flies to Savannah
- 8/10 BigPicture (armed with shovel + bug spray) ventures deep into
Belize jungles
- 8/11 Cheapskate SJMFs order -Our Time In Hell- at 800-433-0500 and
call 800-929-3311 for credit repair
- 8/11 Web surfers SAA and Gail (eating a lb. of chocolate) come across
http://members.aol.com/MelroseTV/index.html
- 8/11 Bears 30, Dolphins 22-Packers 40, Steelers 10....Art intices Bam
to the Ravens with a kilo of Pakistani weed
- 8/11 Gold-digger Machoman, deep in the jungle-suffering from
thousands of insect attacks, becomes psychotic
- 8/11 Suddenly interested in earthquakes, PLG pirates shareware
at...... www.cs.uregina.ca/~herbert/
- 8/11 Belize officials arrest Pman for illegal fishing off the coast
of Belize City
- 8/11 Dopehead duo thrown out of Miami and told to get out of Florida within 12 hours or face execution
- 8/11 Hardturd arrives in Savannah only to find nothing
- 8/11 Diesel and Razor wreck the WCW and hold Mean Jean hostage in
Dizzy studio in Florida
- 8/12 Belize paramedics put psychotic Moneybags on VoodooJungle
Bi-plane flight 3 non-stop to Pittsburgh
- 8/12 NE wrecks the Cowboys 30-0 as Irvin fumbles 6 times and drops 3
passes in the end zone for sure TDs
- 8/12 Gluesniffer Stinkman and opium laidened Heroinballs hitch hike to Savannah smoking wet dank all the way
- 8/12 RAW action sees Hitman pinned by Horowitz and Duke the Dumpster
trashed by Pillsbury Doughboy
- 8/12 Kiska volcano blows in Alaska-30 million tons of lava released.
In Savannah- Hbomb declares he will top that!
- 8/12 SJMF cheapskates order internet rations at
http://www.infi.net/smithfieldhams/lean_generation/
- 8/12 Gastrointestinal Murderer explodes in Savannah--entire Georgia
coast line wrecked beyond repair
- 8/12 Georgia governor expells Hbomb and Mr. Heroinballs forever..to
be out of the state by sundown or shot
- 8/12 Vista Tax Free MM fund drops $217 million of investors funds in
one day...Greenspan to investigate
- 8/12 No cold calls-----call 800-938-0087.....Attend an ADULT open
house at 800-321-0129
- 8/12 WPIC fellows operate on BigPictureMachoCamochoMoneybags-in a
severe psychotic degenerative state
- 8/13 Sambos clinical picture very bleak- suffering from psychosis,
rhinitis, enterobiasis, uremia and shingels
- 8/13 Idi Amin declares himself the conquerer of the British empire as
he consumes 90 ear dings
- 8/13 Tightwad sheister SJMFs check on a legitimate career at 800-491-3470
- 8/13 Sham-artist Doughboy augments his professional skills at
http://www.lovenet.co.uk/ads/halcyon/
- 8/13 Hakio Hardturd rushes to WPIC- donates a kidney to dying
BigPictureMoneybags
- 8/13 On his death bed, SamboRambo receives donated intestines from reborn moondog Brownpants Walleye
- 8/13 Dopehead Heroinballs rushes to WPIC (checking in as Mr. John
Smith) + donates his liver to dying ant-farmer
- 8/13 DS hurrys to WPIC to contibute garlic flavored epidermis/carbuncles to Gold digger
- 8/13 Thomas blasts 7 home runs as White Sox down Detroit 15-12
- 8/14 Dog Racing fanatic PLG calls 800-445-9475 and wagers $270 on
Ljunggren Beamon Suleymanogulu III
- 8/14 Clogged Buckminster Brownbag Bombadeer tunes in
http://phoenix.calpoly.edu/%7Eosaebo/yersinia.html
- 8/14 worthless human-waste Doughboy calls Pennysaver at 800-524-5700 and tries to sell himself--no takers
- 8/14 Fellows at WPIC announce that Frankenstein-like MachoDollarman
may live-now in ICU
- 8/14 Sheister SJMFs attempt to save a dollar..call 888-393-7900 to
have their power turned off
- 8/14 Zenix down 3.9, Siskon down 0.9, Niberia even, Albermar -31.7
- 8/14 Fellows at WPIC give MachoBigBucks Sri Lanka Dilmah
tea...miraculously he is 100% healthy and sent home
- 8/14 with time on their hands martyr-twins call 800-695-8000,
800-763-9248, 800-886-6937, 800-662-8233
- 8/15 Art informs Ravens in writing that they must win this weekend or
they are all fired
- 8/15 Stargazer Hbomb sees aliens on Triton after slurping 3 bottles
of Rexall Quiet-Nite
- 8/15 Ljunggren Beamon Suleymanogulu III pays out 777 to one...PLG
retires with $210,000 worth of dog biscuits
- 8/15 Buckminster Brownpants-Brownbag Deermeat Nightmare checks out http://www.glue.umd.edu/
- 8/15 Gail (with a pound of chocolate in hand) finally uses CK:P..does
internet search for Swiss chocolate
- 8/15 Atlanta Falcons 3, Oakland Raiders 0. Modell again warns big black birds of potential terminations
- 8/15 On yet another hoggish tangent- DS eats 2 cans of Duncan Hines creamy cake icing for breakfast
- 8/15 Yoweri Museueni tells Parliament that Idi Amin would make a good
meal for a few dozen hungry soles
- 8/15 Guetterman pitches 18 perfect innings and looses game on a homer
to Fielder: Tigers 1, Mariners 0
- 8/16 Dedicated/rejuvinated
MachomanRamboSamboBigPictureRubberneckMoneybags returns to work
- 8/16 SAA consults psychiatrist on: DS + icing, Gail + chocolate,
Hbomb + gas, SJMFs + martyrdom, etc. etc.
- 8/16 National City announces it will now cost $5 to write a check,
and $12 to cash it
- 8/16 Fat-boy Doughboy orders the Short Men Catalog at 800-272-9000
- 8/16 Lilliput embarks on her 122 career at -------
http://paris.maine.com/people/nesa/
- 8/16 Clinton, Dole and Perot watch the Bengals wreck the Redskins
- 8/16 Tired (after 1 day on the job) MachomanRamboSamboBigPicture
checks on retirement at 800-553-9531
- 8/16 Slum home owners/sheisters (cheapskate SJMFs) take the high road (A free in home consultation..800-543-5436)
- 8/16 Buckminster Stinkums
hits-||||||http://www.virtualcity.com/web/nighthawk/hawk.html||||||-higher than his buddy!!!
- 8/17 cooked on a vial of coke..Bam runs for 13 TDs as Balt. squashes
GB 90 to 14....Art has a coronary
- 8/17 http://www.pyramidbrew.com/bcare.html ----Hardturd learns to
make his own brew
- 8/17 Pman gets out of Belize jail and buys a Gremlin for $44-to send
back to the US for 20 years of active duty
- 8/17 Cowboys dumped again- this time to Denver as blurry eyed Irvin
drops 20 straight passes
- 8/17 Marge tells Hamilton county media that Hitler was Gods gift to
the world and her idol
- 8/17 NYG 69, NYJ 68- Detroit 30, Houston 0- Pittsburgh 19, TB 14-
Carolina 90, Buffalo 10- KC 30 St. Louis 15
- 8/17 Wildman Miro wins the WWF title over Jupiter Hounddog..The Alien wins the WCW title beating Diesel
- 8/17 Colts pound Seattle 31-11////Chicago crushes Saints
43-3////Arizona ties SD 60-60
- 8/17 Jim McDermott tells Clinton to put everyone over 80 on welfare
and give them full-time jobs at McDonalds
- 8/18 Mass murder of 61 in Owensboro, Ky shocks the entire
nation..USPS employee NOT involved!
- 8/18 Doughboys stinking illegitimate wife calls in a personal want-ad
at 800-531-6871 X29C
- 8/18 After galking at Europa for 3 hours Hummel Jr. Stinkman
Stargazer goes blind
- 8/18 Blind Gluesniffer Hbomb calls for emergency PRK laser
surgery------800-246-1000
- 8/18 Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint operates on Hbomb implanting two
blue deer eyes in Brownbags skull
- 8/18 49ers whip Jacksonville 29-0 and New England upsets Philadelphia 3-2
- 8/18 Super cheapskate sheister Doughboy, penny-pinching as usual,
rolls cigarettes out of used toilet paper
- 8/18 Buckminster Qball sees octogonal images..including 8
headed-aliens everywhere (without any glue)
- 8/18 RamboSamboBigPicture gets that killer urge..calls Hunting
hotline 800-243-8519
- 8/18 818 hits straight in daily lotterys in Michigan, Texas, Wisc.,
Ohio, NY, Oregon, Idaho, N. Mexico and N. Jersey
- 8/19 with nothing to do- PLG calls 800-228-4307, 800-543-1036,
800-225-5982 and 800-842-8257
- 8/19 Transvestite Doughboy gets a french maid at
http://members.aol.com/sissyboyri/sissy.htm
- 8/19 Vista Tax Free MM fund falls 10 points and First Western Bancorp
goes bankrupt
- 8/19 Halicunating Heroinballs sees himself as an 8 headed bull in
Pampolona Spain
- 8/19 Pman drives his new 66 Gremlin down Forbes Ave only to have it
blow up 4 blocks from his house
- 8/19 MachomanRamboSamboBigPictureRubberneckMoneybags buys a Nat. City CD (3.5%)-800-352-0186
- 8/19 Buckminster Liquidpants Brownbagger enjoys his favorite
passtime-- http://seamless.com/talf/txt/utero2.html
- 8/19 Tornados wreck Baca county Colorado- 1,001 killed- $37 million
damage
- 8/19 Seeking cultured thrills Lilliput cyber-trips to
http://steelnet.net/pso
- 8/19 Jimmy Johnson blows a jugular as Vikings thrash Dolphins 50-0 in
cool (117 degree) Miami
- 8/20 Sambo, Doughboy, Jane C., Buckminster Brownpants, SAA, Hardturd
+ PLG grub-up at Beefcake Lamones
- 8/20 Sambo, Doughboy, Jane C., Buckminster Brownpants, SAA, Hardturd + PLG rushed to Mercy ER
- 8/20 contemplating suicide Dr. Jack investigates
http://www.students.uiuc.edu/%7Ejhee/Deaths.html
- 8/20 Putrid Gastrointestinal Nightmare wrecks another 61C- 36
suffocate, 42 trampled to death
- 8/20 BigBucks Antman applies for a Visa Card at 800-753-7011 and a
Dreyfus account at 800-554-4284
- 8/20 call Dens-Shield at 800-947-4497 or for technical
services.....800-225-6119
- 8/20 Gastrointestinal Murderer explodes in McKeesport...hundreds
rushed to MGH ER
- 8/20 SAA checks out http://www.pncbank.com- sends in $1,000
- 8/21 Venera 4 space probe sends back data from Venus after 29 years
of inactivity- 8 headed deer spotted
- 8/21 San Bernadino County declares itself seperate and independent
from CA
- 8/21 Tightwad sheister SJMF cheapskates enroll themselves in the ASPCA
- 8/21 Hakio Softturd given a multi million dollar golden
parachute...he calls Rizzos (800-794-4323)
- 8/21 Stargazer Hbomb sees aliens on Umbriel after snorting 2 bottles
of Rite Aid 12 hour Nasal Spray
- 8/21 stupid american garbageman---- get a 15 month associates degree
at 800-441-5222
- 8/21 O'Neal rejects Lakers $120 million- wants $190 million. Mourning
rejects $100 million-wants $200 million
- 8/21 Worthless Slob Doughboy attempts to auction himself at
800-455-9401-- no takers
- 8/22 check out foreign objects in your dogs
feces:-----------http://members.aol.com/scroach1/poop.htm
- 8/22 Bears hog-tie/horsewhip/bludgeon and otherwise wreck Kansas City
79-0
- 8/22 If your electric power is out--dont call 888-393-7000!!!!!
- 8/22 Barkley wants $30 million for one year and Jordan (renegotiates)
for $80 million for 1 season
- 8/22 Pman drives his new 66 Gremlin into www.earlscheib.com for a
$199.95 paint job...Gremlin now worth $200
- 8/22 Pman talks for 24 hours straight- but no one listens
- 8/22 MachomanSamboRamboBigPictureRubberneckMoneybags buys PAC Bell NY
Bonds at $45.93 a share
- 8/22 Galoot DS mixes 14 raw garlic pods with vanilla cake icing for a
vampire sweet tooth
- 8/22 Flood destroys Jaffna, Sri Lanka Prajathanthrika Samajavadi
Janarajaya- 110,000 killed
- 8/23 Parabolic 15th dimensional Gluesniffer Walleye inhales
http://www.cardoza-james.com/perf.htm
- 8/23 Sulfur factory Gastrointestinal Stinkman dreams he is in
heaven--on the moon Io
- 8/23 Tetanus factory Heroinballs dreams he is in heaven-- alone in
the Pharmor pharmacy
- 8/23 Jack Kent Cooke tells the Skins they win it all this year-or he
will sell the team to Idi Amin
- 8/23 get 336 F R E E.. I N T E R N E T..H O U R S at 800-505-2244 or
buy the Panama Canal at 800-592-2211
- 8/23 SF 40, Seattle 20-Oakland 40, NYJ 20-Falcons 40, Arizona
20-Tampa Bay 40, Miami 20-St. Louis 40, SD 20
- 8/23 Heroinballs rushed to MGH ER with uncontrolled acetoacetate +
acetone urine levels..put in ICU
- 8/23 call Robert Morris at 800-762-0097----all Vets should call
800-775-8387
- 8/23 Cheapskate sham-artist SJMFs call hepatitis hot line
800-437-2829 for FREE samples
- 8/24 Italian Oven stock at rock bottom (.01
cent/share)...BigPictureBigBucks brokers 48.7 million shares
- 8/24 Beerbelly Hardturd takes SamboAntman to Chiefs...179 malts later they both pass out
- 8/24 Lt. Tragg checks out ICU at MGH...finds 37 crack joints and a
wet dank bowl with dopehead HB
- 8/24 Houston (Memphis-Nashville) Oilers pound Cowboys as Irvin drops
19 straight passes and fumbles 8 times
- 8/24 HB has his testicles removed by Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint at MGH...will now be Heroin(no)balls
- 8/24 GB 19, Colts 18 in OT. Modell, incognito in stadium, meets with
Harbaugh post game
- 8/24 Lilliput embarks on a new career with $8,500 and a call to
800-409-1298<<<<<<>>>>>>>
- 8/24 Chiefs throws drunkard bums out into Craig St sewers
- 8/24 Savannah temperature hits an all-time record high of
120....Lilliput travels south
- 8/24 Pippin wants $201 million for 3 years...Shaq accepts $407
million for 10 years with the Beaverton Tugboats
- 8/25 Buckminster Molotov makes a pipe-bomb out of glue for use tomorrow
- 8/25 Paulik pitches 29 perfect innings..Texas beats Milwaukee 1-0
- 8/25 PLG travels to the Summit Inn...800-433-8594
- 8/25 Ljunggren Beamon Suleymanogulu III murdered in Wheeling
- 8/25 Now in Savannah Lilliput reads http://savga.com/news/today.htm
- 8/25 Sam Nunn informs Clinton that 8 headed aliens have been reported
in Virginia
- 8/25 Gastointestinal mayhem contaminates Yough with vibrio
parahemolyticus waste after consuming 7 lobsters
- 8/26 Sid demolishes Farouk and Marlena pins Mr. Perfect on Raw
- 8/26 Reginald Truscott-Jones meets up with stoned Hardturd in Chiefs
and they have a long discussion
- 8/26 Pipe (stink) bomb blows up on 61C outside of Duquesne-10 killed
and 41 injured in terroristic act
- 8/26 Anxious to get an education- stooge Doughboy calls 800-922-7611
+ 800-837-1290
- 8/26 Brownpants Buckminster orders special 15 layer pepperoni pizza
at http://www.guild.net/rialto----only $57.99
- 8/26 Heroinballs meets PLG at funeral for Ljunggren Beamon
Suleymanogulu III
- 8/26 http://www.mindspring.com/%7Ehealthy/colodyne.html.......Hbombs
enema formula
- 8/27 NY lottery pays out $124.2 million as 888 hits
- 8/27 San Bernadino County declares itself an autonomous nation- Jerry
Brown named Czar for life
- 8/27 DS, SAA, IP, Gail, SJMFs, PLG, Hardturd, RambomachomanSambo + OJ meet at Robert Wolleys Fish Boat
- 8/27 Imelda donates 137,502 pairs of 4 inch high heels to the
Salvation Army
- 8/27 Jimmy Johnson tells the Dolphins--you will win the Superbowl
this year or I will kill you!
- 8/27 major heatwave melts the midwest....Peoria 111, South Bend 120,
Wichita 112, Tulsa 120 + St. Louis 109
- 8/27 Beaverton Tugboats trade Shaq to Yaounde for $200 plus the cost
of the ticket to fly him there
- 8/28 Seifert lectures the 9ers...this is the year-Superbowl XXXI is
yours for the taking
- 8/28 Dopehead Heroinballs rushed to WPIC.....brain full of formaldahyde
- 8/28 Aaron ask SAA--what label you reachin for? Dr. Kim tells DS--you
get the hell out of here!
- 8/28 CES tells Paul Drake, Perry Mason, Hamilton Burger and Lt. Tragg
that DS is a criminologist
- 8/28 Cowboys get a mutual verbal lambasting from Jones and Barry- win
SB XXXI...without Irvins dope
- 8/28 Modell informs Ravens they must win this Superbowl-otherwise-we
go to Cleveland
- 8/28 Daily # 828 hits in lotterys in Maine, CA, TN, Mich., PA, Texas
and WY--total payout- $307 million
- 8/28 Savannah temperature hits an all-time record high of 125...Aaron
leaves + says I aint comin back here no more
- 8/29 Pillsbury Doughboy slops down a big breakfast for a big boy: 1 dozen large eggs, 1 can pseudo-Spam + eggnog
- 8/29 confused/hospitalized drug-king Heroinballs reveals he smoke
Mary Jane when he was 3 1/2 years old
- 8/29 Kotite lectures Jets that they must win the Superbowl this
season or he will be fired
- 8/29 Odonnell tells Kotite-I got my green- I don't need this uniform
- 8/29 Buckminster Brownpants tells his wife- we are moving north-
calls Rural Home Buyer--800-822-1174
- 8/29 Eight headed aliens seen on Lake Erie....for info call Cleveland
800-321-1001
- 8/30 BigPictureBigBucks writes his will and gets on a 747 headed for
Ancona, Italy
- 8/30 Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint operates on dopehead-removes his nose and replaces it with a deer snout
- 8/30 Shottenheimer tells Hacket-you win the Superbowl this year or
you are done.......
- 8/30 Jim McDermott tells Clinton--- these 8 headers are running
rampant in America and you sit back and ignore it!
- 8/30 Rats picket/strike sheister-cheapskate-dougboys delapidated
house-too much garbage inside
- 8/30 A writing career is in-line for geriatric PLG....800-898-7886
- 8/31 Hakio Hardturd checks into the Betty Ford clinic for a month
long bender
- 8/31 MSNBC folds..no money..no subscribers..no interest..no hits
- 8/31 reborn moondog Brownpants Walleye evacuates entire campus with
an explosion to rival Mt. St Helens
- 8/31 Bam and Irvin party in Fort Stockton...no more overnighters!!!!
800-488-9714
- 8/31 Pasta-air Flight 4207 headed to Italy blows up over
Baltimore....300 believed dead
- 8/31 Dave Pman gets his big paycheck and heads out to buy a new 1941
Desotto (Fred Flinstone pedal power)
- 8/31 Marge writes Voinovich and expresses that Adolph was a
gentle-misunderstood-humanitarian
- 8/31 Pilgrims on their way to Alpha Centauri send 8-bit-16 band
message reading: dzot keebou fHdupllm nemza
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4/08