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Dan Sroka October 1997 Calendar

1 Scientist at the White Sands Space Harbor, NM consult a local mathemetician on Flatland and the 4th dimension. This unnamed expert starts preaching about solutions to be found in the rhombic triacontahedrons, 42 faced zonohedrons and perpendicular parallel metaphysical universes. The windbag is tossed out into the wilderness for the coyotes to eat.
1 Ice Princess gives Pangloss VD. Pangloss gives VD to Paquette. Paquette gives VD to the paparazzi
1 Europes 15 million illiterates listen to radio broadcasts about the spreading VD epidemic
1 Sheister-shamartist-sharlitan slob Doughboy accuses his ugly female-bull wighead wife of giving him VD. Slob begs Nebuchadnezzar to save him
1 Dr. Quack confirms slob-pig Doughboy has VD. Doughboy says how did I get it? Quack tells Doughboy- you tell me....
2 Across the globe there are reports of the deceased crawling up out of their graves.... Moms Mabley comes up (yet again), Brodrick Crawford gets in a police vehicle, a drunkard emerges in Lorient, France, Elvis starts singing from his crypt, etc.
2 Mayor Luzhkov sees Lenin swimming around in his enclosure and orders him freed! Officials declare he is healthy, except for the fact that he has --pickled VD--
2 Corpses leave Zugerts Funeral Home in gangs of 4. Heroinballs, full of benzedrine, ritalin, yellow jackets, charas and meperidine sees four zombies approaching.......HB snaps out and slips into unconsciousness
2 Four corpses rush drugged up comatose Heroinballs to the emergency room...Interns declare Heroinballs D.O.A!
2 Nebuchadnezzar interrogates fat Doughboy.....how did you get VD? Doughboy says from my wife! Neb starts sweating profusely
3 Rubberneck Sambo decides he is going to straighten up once and for all. He believes he can change his life around by ignoring the cognitive and emotional, concentrating only on the S-R/operant. Rubberneck Sambo will become Stiffneck/Catatonic Samboautonomaton. Sambo starts experiencing strange uncontrolable choreiform body movements
3 Moms catches a Greyhound to Albuquerque with a gang of the Suffragettes....she was heard to mutter Ill get that bastard!
3 During a gynecological exam, Ice Princess is told that she has an inverted icosidodecahedron polyp that must be disolved with a lot of heavy concentrated and sustained intercourse. Poindexter J. Skinflint, MD orders IP to the local cathouse for 36 hours of industrial pounding
3 Sausedup Hardturd, jittering Samboautonomaton, and gruesome human-Gorilla Shitpants lead the funeral trail for the dead drug addict Heroinballs. HB is laid to rest in a special ceremonial coffin/dumpster made of tetrahydrocannabinol/pethidine alloy
3 In a final farewell the Federal Brotherhood of Stooge-Lumox Belugas, the Unionized Central Brothers of the American National Union Society (ANUS), the United Brotherhood of Unionized Wirepullers, the Federated Unionized International Brotherhood of CaveBeings, the UBPMW and 17 street bums/drug addicts collectively urinate on Heroinballs grave
4 Hearing of a hot babe taking on all comers at no cost the Federal Brotherhood of Stooge-Lumox Belugas, the Unionized Central Brothers of the American National Union Society (ANUS), the United Brotherhood of Unionized Wirepullers, the Federated Unionized International Brotherhood of CaveBeings, the UBPMW and 72 street bums/drug addicts plow into the local cathouse. Doctor Skinflint got his gun unloaded, but Samboautonomaton couldnt get the stimulus for the response and went home to sleep off his hangover mumbling about a Skinner Box and an Air Crib
4 Thousands of dead zombies watch Toronto lose to British Columbia. Moms arrives at Albuquerque and heads north
4 Nebuchadnezzar visits Dr. Schizobergerwicz in private. Its confirmed- you have VD!
4 The CDC releases alarming stats...over 1.1 million americans now have VD. Brodrick escorts Mom and the Suffragettes to Los Alamos
4 Clinton orders everyone in the US under the age of 90 tested for VD. Ice Princess takes a real blasting from virgin high school nerd punks
5 All NFL games are cancelled as the players line up to take a shot at Ice Princess, team by team
5 PLG takes a midnight trip to Heroinballs grave but leaves in haste as the ground is still completely soaked
5 The Suffragettes protest outside of Los Alamos.....wheres that murderer Jara da Cimrman???
5 Johnson calls out the national guard- get those bizzaros out of here...the Suffragettes are sent to a Texas jail/holding pen
5 French chambermaids and porters are all ordered in for mandatory VD testing and Kinglet Gustaf announces..no more sex!
6 NBC reports that Moms Mabley is (AGAIN) found murdered and raped this time at San Ysidro, NM
6 NM state cops arrest a local mathemetician as a suspect in Moms murder and da Cimrman is placed in an ultra-security cell
6 Across the nation millions of Suffragette supporters rise up against injustices and demand Death to the killers!
6 The Belugas and the Cave-beings buy airtime on the major TV networks....we WILL NOT be tested, under any circumstance, for VD!
6 After 317,212 solid humpings the cathouse gives Ice Princess a 15 min. break so she can empty her bowels-things were getting messy
7 Reno orders the Suffragette released from their Texas holding pen and the girls head straight back to New Mexico
7 Shamartist Doughboy takes a brutal ass-beating from his ugly vindictive wife as he told Neb he got VD from her
7 The US Airforce flys 20 B1 bombers, with 13 brigades of troops (army-marines-navy-air force) for R+R/workout with Ice Princess
7 Suffragettes in the Carsbad Holiday Inn call the mafia. Almost instantaneously Barry calls Johnson who sets up a meeting with the girls, the unnamed mathemetician and the convicted murderer Jara da Cimrman at 96 North/44 West
7 Lonely Smokin Pman stops by Ice Princess house but finds shes not home
8 The following IP addresses have been diagnosed with severe cases of cyber-VD:wches206-pri.voicenet.com, gatekeeper.eastman.com , faulkner.viper.net, ox.co.suffolk.ny.us, myponga.connect.com.au, 203.61.83.2, www-fw-proxy1.boeing.com, eagle.prebon.com, ppp-syd-218.ca.com.au, i80.ruc.dk, 146.186.97.250, lib117.uncc.edu, ai018.du.pipex.com, s06-pm06.snwestsac.campus.mci.ne, and owow120.dcowow-3.epa.gov.
8 Samboautonomaton, trapped in a 2 dimensional S-R world, starts believing hes a Flatlander. He tells his doctor he feels little BF Skinnerians crawling under his skin. Doc looks in this stooges eyes and sees nothing other than nystagmus. Doc sends Samboautonomaton home with Walden Two and a gallon of cribari
8 World media flock to New Mexico for the upcoming Suffragette showdown in the wasteland
8 General Turigidson will be the intermediary at 96 North/44 West.
8 four dead Stiffs give Ice Princess a day/night long workout. Poindexter J. Skinflint, MD gets one last blast on his patient and orders her in for a complete physical exam. Shes 22 pounds lighter, and in need of a lot of sleep, but the inverted icosidodecahedron polyp has turned into a rhombonic enneacontahedronal cyst. Skinflints recommendation for a complete cure for this development is a non-stop 24 hour a day robotic cervical pounding for about a week straight. IP is sent to the local robotics institute for a REAL workout
9 Moms Mabley is (once again) laid to rest, this time in an unmarked grave at Ocate, NM. The Federal Brotherhood of Stooge-Lumox Belugas, the Unionized Central Brothers of the American National Union Society (ANUS), the United Brotherhood of Unionized Wirepullers, the Federated Unionized International Brotherhood of CaveBeings, the UBPMW and 30 Santa Fe street bums collectively urinate on Moms grave
9 Shaman Mahavira-juni Lao-Tze Garu-Guru announces Jara da Cimrman is a homo and could not possibly have raped Moms Mabley but he may have killed her
9 Preacherboy Sheister Doughboy grandstands on his soapbox: I dont have VD! I did not lie! I am not a sheister! I am not a homo! There are no rhombic triacontahedrons! I am not a sham-artist! I do not stink! I am not an illiterate ignoramus! I dont eat buttermilk biscuits for breakfast! Flatland doesnt exist! There are no cervical pounding robots! I am not anti-union!
9 A hang-womans tribunal is conducted at 96 North/44 West. Jara da Cimrman is shot through the brain, heart and doink, the local mathemetician is burried alive in the wasteland in an unmarked, urine soaked gave
9 CMU says...... NO MORE SLOBS! CMU says....get those robots humping!
10 All NFL games are cancelled as it is reported every player has VD. Likewise, nearly everyone in the army, marines, navy and air force is diagnosed with VD
10 The cervical pounding robot breaks down after 18 hours on the job.....humans will have to finish the work not completed
10 Chieftain Hakio Hardturd takes a vacation in New Mexico but is ambushed by the Suffragettes who batter his big drunkard ass with rolling pins. After the brutal attack the Suffragettes stuff their panties in his mouth and leave him in the wilderness for the coyotes to eat.
10 Tanked up cribarihead Samboautonomaton looks for Heroinballs grave but cant find it. Styvestant E. Blosthiggins III informs 2DS-R that the drug addict is in the fourth dimension and the cribarihead responds with uncontrolled rapid eye jerks
10 Ugly behemoth Buckminster Shitpants learns he has alzheimers. Dr. J.J. Undercyclothyme prescribes plenty of aluminum for the condition
11 Worldwide over 63 million people have VD...its spreading faster than Doughboys waistline
11 The CFL Montreal at Toronto football game is halted when young girls run out on to the field and attack the players with rolling pins and then stuff their panties in the players mouths. The wild punk girls told the Toronto Daily Dumpster this practice is called the SUFFRAGETTE STUFF
11 In France, the following teams are attacked and stuffed by bopper babes in 8 inch platform shoes: Olympique Lyonnais, AJ Auxerre, AS Saint-Etienne, SC Bastia and Havre AC. In one collective gang bang suffragette stuff, 13 french teenyboppers forced their attackee to eat all of their panties right on the field before a national TV audience!
11 Having consumed all of the tetrahydrocannabinol/pethidine from his casket, Heroinballs rises from the dead. His drug addiction is so powerful it brought this living zombie back to life! HB crawls up out of the grave and immediately hits the nearest drug den for some methedrine, dexedrine, DMT, psilocybin, LSD-25, green pickles, hash and speed. SEE HEROINBALLS IN ACTION
11 Dr. Poindexter J. Skinflint, Dr. J.J. Undercyclothyme, and Dr. Schizobergerwicz collectively look over Ice Princess. The three wisemen agree that IP has had a complete recovery even though the cervical robot died on the job. Ice Princess is sent home to rest but on the way home she stops at Sears and buys some new panties and a couple of rolling pins
12 In Brussels KNACK reports teenage punk girls are running naked in the streets (with nothing on but high heeled platform shoes) randomly attacking boys/men with rolling pins and giving them a good panty STUFF
12 CBS reports worldwide over 275 million cases of VD are confirmed. BigPicture goon Samboautonomaton tells his daughter he does not have VD and she says --thats nice to know--
12 Jiang orders the Pearl River Delta Shoe Commune on twenty-four hour shifts....get those high-heeled platforms produced! Jiang orders the 13 year old babes in the Dongguan Province Linen Peoples Factory to get those panties made and the Hongding Wood Crush Plant, Ltd. to put out millions of rolling pins now!
12 French babes dig up Henri Paul and give him a real SUFFRAGETTE STUFF. The paparazzi get plenty of pictures at the Ritz Hotel as these punk babes lure unsuspecting teenage punk-boys in and beat the shit out of them with rolling pins and stuff them full of panties
12 Blackhaired vindictive sheister bitchwoman beats up her hubby slob Doughboy then stuffs her old panties down his throat
13 El Nino kicks up on the west coast. Extreme winds over 50 mph blow suffragette panties from southern Calif. into Ariz.
13 MS Internet Explorer reports the following sites have cyber-panty rolling pin cookies. These sites will be shutdown until further notice! webber.uib.no, 160.portland-03.or.dial-access.att.net, mmafire.micromodeling.com, cmh-p127.infinet.com, edslink2.eds.com, bway-slip299.dynamic.usit.net, pm3-15.ismi.net, pm28.taunet.net.au, isdn39.bart.nl, acctg.montana.com, 199.237.155.239, p005f8b.l.dip.t-online.de, 207.13.42.41, pc-ramsay.biopro.polymtl.ca, 137.190.151.18, ow69.wins.uva.nl, usgk.unilever.com, uranus.ubs.com, 208.137.170.113, 204.248.62.146, 204.220.234.5, proxy7.singnet.com.sg, and stp-fl-004.atlantic.net
13 Pman visits Ice Princess expecting a good workout but instead is brutally attacked and raped with a rolling pin. Pman is shipped to the ICU for an emergency operation
13 An Phoblacht Republican Newspaper reports the IRA has taken a stance against the Suffragettes...we will shoot to kill!
13 SHOCK THERAPY Barceriowicz declares.......the SUFFRAGETTE STUFF is banned!!!!!!!!!!!
14 VD is on the rampage.....now 1 billion suffer from this on-going epidemic....Mayor Zemun bans VD
14 Northern Italy succeeds from southern Italy as the teenage punk babes cant get any unscented panties in the north. Bossi says the girls have their rights. The southern babes have the 10 inch platforms from China, too
14 AT&T executives ban the term DRY PAIR from all corporate literature. The timing is right
14 After smoking a 4 foot long wet dank/crack Fidel toby, Heroinballs has a grand mal seizure and is rushed to the ICU where he is roomed with Pman. The interns say they cant get the rolling pin out of the Porcupine thus it will have to be left where it is
14 Get a job as Riverboat bar staff 504-585-0630 or become a management trainee at 910-353-4888
15 The following German teams are attacked by Bundesbabes wielding rolling pins and worn-out panties: VfL Wolfsburg and Werder Bremen, MSV Duisburg and Hansa Rostock, Hertha BSC and VfL Bochum and Kaiderslautern with Arm. Bielefeld. Every player is rushed to the local hospitals in serious condition. 5 players died.
15 OBSERVATEUR editorial: This suffragette stuff craziness must end! Our entire civilization is at risk!
15 Jiang sends out billions of high heeled platform shoes, rolling pins and panties via ship, raft, cargo plane, train etc.
15 NASA/Houston reports that the Jupiter probe has taken pictures of rolling pins, used panties and worn out high heeled platform shoes on the moon Callisto. How in the hell did that stuff get there!?
15 The NY Times reports Yahweh was seen in the Bronx subway in drag....with rolling pin, panties and a Marv Albert rectification kit
16 Across America, in small towns, teenage high heeled wearing babes attack boys with rolling pins and panties. Deaths are reported in Batsto, NJ, French Lick, IN, Elfrida, Arz., Iraan, TX, Germfask, MI, and Ogilvie, Minn.
16 King Wangchuko and Sultan Bolkiahi outlaw Suffragette action. The VD rampage hits 2 billion
16 Slob Doughboy preaches....no more panties....no more high heeled platforms.....no more rolling pins. Vicious babes lay it on preacher fatboy
16 Brodrick Crawford is seen in Hyde Park in 12 inch platform high heels....the London suffragettes attack the big blimp and batter him helpless....An Al-Jumhuriya bulletin reports he has died!
16 A gang of pseudo-suffragettes numbering over two thousand head out of Ryegate, Montana to route 12 to 15 north into Milk River. The girls force their way into Alberta to do some lynching. In Canada, they take off their platform shoes so to better sneak up on their pray
17 Two-dimensional drunkard Samboautonomaton shows up at work plastered. He is discharged for the day and on the way home a 275 lb female bull studda-bubba forces him to eat her panties. The lumox is sent to the ICU and placed in the same area as Rolling-pin Pman and comatose Heroinballs
17 Marv rectum violation again sweeps through Britian
17 Human vegetable-paralyzed Lilliput takes an honorary membership in the North Hills Suffragettes. She donates $30
17 Wild young Japanese babes run amuck through stadiums attacking the players of Belmare Hiratsuka, Gamba Osaka, Vissel Kobe, Kashiwa Revsol, JEF United Ichihara and Cerezo Osaka... the J League is so devistated it cancels the rest of the season
17 Worldwide a severe panty shortage becomes evident....The Chinese textile industry goes into full swing to compensate
18 The United Brotherhood of Proletariat Manual WorkmenUBPMW votes to take action against unwanted interactions with the Suffragettes. All 13.1 million members will be suppled with semi-automatic pistols by monday
18 PLG has a nightmare: The Pope comes to her with 12 inch high heeled platforms on. He gives her a 42 faced zonohedron and a pair of Hanes underwear. PLG wakes abruptly...stunned at what she has just dreamt!
18 Koop warns.......watch out for young punk babes carrying rolling pins. The Chicago Tribune reports that Chicago street bums/winos are supplying lake-front teenyboppers with old panties they dug out of Michigan Ave dumpsters
18 The NCAA bans all teenage girls in high heeled platforms from all football games. Furthermore, Spurrier gives all the Gators their own rolling pins just in case some punk girls do get into the stadiums
18 McCarthy is attacked at the Ireland World Cup match by 15 teenage Suffragettes! He is in critical condition
19 Scottish Suffragette terrorist babes run through Edinboro castle in high heeled platforms waiving old panties. The nation is flabergasted!
19 In Moscow, soviet teenage suffragettes attack unsuspecting teenage punk boys in the subways with plastic rolling pins
19 The Polish Freedom Union (Professors Party) bans female teenage punklettas from wearing high heeled platforms over 12 inches in height. Additionally, all teenage girls must go pantyless from now on........
19 Teenage Suffragette babes attack the Dallas Cowboys at Texas Stadium. FOX brodcasts the entire ordeal to an audience of over 12 million
19 In Edmonton, Messiah Nanak Varhamana Abdul-Alibaba II pleads for civility! He is knocked out when a teenage punk babe hits him in the head with her platform shoe. The suffragette punk is jailed. Judge Prepuse P. Foreskin sentences her to a weekend workout with a CMU humping- pounding robot
20 Senate bans the Suffragettes in Vermont. King Alfonso Deva bans the suffragette stuff but the suffragettes will be allowed to wear high heels if they so choose
20 Baluga H Cornhole is raped by a gang of wild platformed babes in Pittsburgh. The slob is seriously injured
20 Goon Two-dimensional Samboautonomaton is released from the ICU, heads for the liquor store and gets a case of vodka. At home, in his recliner, after a half case is consumed, the stimulus-response nerd calls his doctor. He tells Skinflint he can see miniature BF Skinners coming into the room through the door keyhole. Skinflint tells SR nerd to drink the other half of the case and sleep on it.......
20 Pangloss informs the paparazzi he never gave VD to Paquette nor is this the best of all possible worlds. The Paris bordellos are stunned
20 Ice Princess gets 5 pairs of high heeled platform shoes at the Wild Pair. One pair are twenty inchers! IP is stepping high tonight!
21 Aherne outlaws rolling pins in Ireland. Kohl bans platformed shoes in Germany. Yeltsin bans panties throughout Russia
21 Jiang tells the Send-down Youth- you can wear high heels only on wednesdays, and only after the peoples work is complete
21 The world series is cancelled as high-heeled teenage babes with rolling pins were seen lurking outside Yankee Stadium
21 Betty Crocker announces it will supply free wooden rolling pins with every pizza dough mix purchased from now through Nov.
21 The New Mexico suffragettes dig up Jara da Cimrman just to make sure he is dead
22 Rumors run rampant in Pedros Pool Hall: Ice Princess took it all night long with her platforms on! Heroinballs has some columbian hash for sale. Shitpants Buckminster Kak Paskahousu smells of feces. The Belugas are in for a big pay increase! The Wexford Funky Hunky Club will give out free shots of rum on Halloween. Yesman is an incognito-fag. There is a potato blight in Ireland. The Carolina Panthers should fire Dom. Marlena is shacking up with Pillman. A magpie shit right on Hakio Hardturds head. etc. etc.
22 Tuscaloosa Cops arrest a gang of punk girls on a rape party. The carnage is done however as 30 pre-teen boys are now permanently housing rolling pins.
22 Dungy gives his boys rolling pins to utilize if an emergency arrises. Johnson says rolling pins are for wimps and Coghlin tells the Jags Marv was a clandestine-fag
23 Die Welt reports the German Bundesbond Internet Weinersnitzel Foundation is illegally supplying German hos with high heeled platform shoes and scented panties. Fuhrer Braunschweiger Helmut III, spokesperson for the GBIWF states that is a catagorical lie. We only have 7 inch bedroom mules...no platforms! Die Welt responds, reporting that Fuhrer Braunschweiger Helmut III is really a transvestite and a former friend of Henri Paul
23 The stockmarket goes hogwild.....panties, high heeled platform shoes and rolling pins cant be produced fast enough
23 Air Tran offers free one way flights to any destination city if the teenage babes come in with platform shoes, no underwear and no rolling pins. Thousands of high heeled punk girls fly across the nation for nothing!
23 Eskimo babes in high heeled snow shoes rape and kill Nanook in Umiat, Alaska. The world is shocked!
23 Those debutants in London finally realize there really is a MADMAN ACROSS THE WATER!
24 Texas boozeboys are attacked in San Antonio by Texas SUFFRAGETTE STUFFers. The boys are raped and humiliated
24 The world is stunned as a bunch of teenage girls run through the streets naked in Volos, Greece with AK-47s...shooting anyone and everyone. The girls want 20 inch platform high heels, burlap panties, garter belts of thorns and heavy rolling pins
24 CMU announces a breakthrough....a robot that can hump day and night continuiously for up to 3 years on one DC cell
24 Heroinballs, wrecked on crack coke, concentrated hemp, LSD and green pickels is admitted to the Betty Ford Clinic
24 The EU bans cervical humping robots...... Northern Italy reunites with southern Italy as all the spagetti eating teenage babes get high heeled bedroom mules from China and Betty Crocker rolling pins
25 Teenage babes in Boznia protest...why should those Italian girls get all the action!? We want it now and we are mad as hell
25 French girls, hearing of these shenanigans in Italy and Boznia, get really pissed off and refuse to wear chinese made high heels .....we can do it better than the Italians anyway!
25 CMU humping robots are shipped all around the globe. Jiang orders the Honan Famine Robot Production Facility to make copies of the CMU humper and get them shipped worldwide immediately
25 Betty kicks super-drug addict Heroinballs out is the street....the hopeless/worthless imbecile is left in the gutter to rot
25 Spanish high-heeled Suffragette girls run through the Barcelona Plaza de Catalunya tossing hot paellea in the faces of old drunkard geisers....the secret police are called in to curtail this craziness
26 The Pope tells the Italian teenage girls.....no high heels in bed! Boppers in Modena reject this plea and hit the sack with 12 inch stilletto heels and their boyfriends, girlfriends OR BOTH
26 Dave and the Lost Boys (in a drug induced convoluted psychotic quagmire) find the world famous calendars and wonder...what the hell is this shit, man?????
26 Slob Doughboy goes preaching again at the Tower of Babel. No high heels! No rolling pins! No (NO) panties!
26 The paparazzi catch Buckminster human-gorilla Caveman in the Ritz with a 18 inch electric dildo up his rear. The photos are sold to the London Midnight-Post/Mirror for a million pounds cash
26 Czech teenage honies give their boyfriends a real workout fantasizing about Paquette and Pangloss
27 Farouk, Hardturd and Sambo Stiffneck get into a big fistfight over dry pairs
27 The Federated Unionized International Brotherhood of CaveBeings declares.... down with casper-milk toast wimps
27 A massive earthquake completely destroys the White Sands Space Harbor, NM...everyone is killed
27 Pseudo-Suffragettes ravage southern Alberta....the Canadian Unionized Mounties are called in to save the day
27 The entire internet crashes as cyber-high heeled electronic cancerous cookies spread faster than world VD
28 The EU lays down the law......no more sleezy SUFFRAGETTE STUFF
28 A tornado wrecks Gisborne, New Zealand and the North Hills Suffragettes invade Kelang, Malaysia
28 In LA, a gang of wild teenage punk girl hoodlums attacks Lasorda causing him to have 30 more heart attacks
28 Drunkards Sambo and Hakio buy Suffragette halloween costumes. Sambo tells Hakio about Skinner and operant conditioning and the 2 lumoxs get into a fist fight/bar room brawl
28 Cops find 200 pairs of high heeled platform shoes in Lake Moultrie, SC. A report subsequently came out that shoeless teenage girls were seen hitch-hiking with signs reading -- North Carolina Tobacco Fields or bust--
29 Shinichiro Kaneko says....what is this world coming to? Heroinballs crawls up out of the gutter
29 Alvar Nunez Cabeza de Vaca lays down the law....... no more robot humpsters.....
29 Girls run through the streets of Monterrey Mexico with nothing on but high heels and garter belts.....we want CMU robots!
29 Gruesome Gastrointestinal Nightmare Buckminster Gluesniffer hits the brown bag and dumps a load of sludge in his pants
29 Helmuth von Moltke, Field-Marshal Kitchener and General Turigidson secretly plan a trip to Russia to steal the studda-bubbas rolling pins
30 Street bums/winos in Frenchglen, Oregon hit on pre-teen high heeled Suffragette want-to-bes
30 Lenin is put back in his tomb along with a rolling pin, panties and a pair of chinese platformed high heeled shoes
30 Magpies drop loads of feces all over the Slovak Republic while in the Ukraine all the winter wheat is destroyed by El Nino
30 In his recliner boozeboy Sambo hits the Night Train Express, Tingle Pink, Mogen David, Thunderbird, Pabst, Jim Beam, Tiger Rose, and Leusha vodka as he mumbles....what the hell is a stimulus......stimilus....stumulus....stummmmmllllllluuuuusss
30 Heavy rains wash away a truckload of chinese rolling pins in the Kuomintang valley
31 Halloween goons dressed as SUFFRAGETTE STUFFers collect candy, rotten peaches, rolling pins etc.
31 Lush Sambo trick or treats at Hakio Hardturds house but Hardturd, drunker than a Texas boozeboy, thinks Sambo is a robber and shoots SambotwodimensionalVodkabrain with his .38 pistol. Sambo is rushed to the vet- a full recovery is antisipated
31 Young babes are trick or treating in the North Carolina tobacco fields. Tobacco chewing good old boys chase the teenagers away from their precious crops by firing their M-16s randomly
31 Brazilian shoe manufacturers turn out 35 inch high platform high heels......worldwide the demand is never ending!
31 PLG has yet another nightmare Is this all for real? Did I eat too many cookies? Who in the hell writes these calendars, anyway? More importantly- WHO IN THE HELL READS THESE CALENDARS!?
If you enjoyed this material, you can find other satire, humor, comedy and sarcasm written by Dan Sroka at the following sites:
- Dan Sroka World Famous Calendars and Short Stories
- Dan Sroka's Unpublished Proceedings
- Dan Sroka's Digital Diarrhea
- satire-by-sroka
- Dan Sroka's Berserk Briefs
  Copyright © Dan Sroka, 9/28/97, 3/08
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