Dan Sroka's Berserk Briefs #40

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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

The Fuher gave the directive- “Prepare for War!”. Parliament was stunned. “We will destroy these mother fucking zealots once and for all” preached bigboy Braunschweiger, pulling out a luger and firing into the ceiling. Fuher Braunschweiger ordered Field Marshal Kitchener to mobilize 200,000 troops immediately and activate the deadly biological warfare agents. “We will annihilate these fucking self-righteous shit eaters and then we will have all the sluts we need to fill the whorehouses! Parliament stood and gave Fuher Braunschweiger Helmet III a standing ovation. He had unanimous approval to declare war on the enemy. The populace supported the Fuher 100%. Newspapers across the land read “Kill the Fuckers Now!”. The enemy cowered in collective fear. “What will we do now? How will we combat the Fuher? We cooked our own asses!” The enemy was on the run. But the Fuher had intelligence reports indicating where each and every one was. Braunschweiger sat back in his war room snickering “soon we will purge this scum from the face of the Earth.” He ordered the furnaces at the death camps back into full service. Red eyed and foaming at the mouth, Fuher Braunschweiger and Field Marshal Kitchener laughed hysterically as they emptied their lugers into the ceiling.

Copyright © Dan Sroka 12/14/02

Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

The government predicts that 600 octillion spam emails will be delivered next year. Have you had your share of spam yet? Are you tired of getting an endless stream of unsolicited garbage mail stuffed in your mailbox on a daily basis? It’s only going to get worse. The Chinese are responsible for much of this email spam and word has been received that the Daxian Peoples Rubber Mill has been converted to the Daxian Peoples Spam Factory. The facility will employ 550,000 uneducated gooks who will do nothing but distribute billions of spam emails hourly to be sent out to every known email addresses in the world! And these gooks will be paid a healthy wage of (the equivalent of) 3 cents a day. And, that’s just the beginning. So, what can you do about it? Nothing- other than to not have any email accounts. Or, you can get a free email account here. We can’t guarantee you’ll never receive spam, but at least you will never receive any from the Daxian Peoples Spam Factory. We’ve blacklisted the fuckers and any mail they attempt to send to us is returned to them with a digital smallpox virus bomb attached. So there will be a constant changeover of uneducated gooks at the Daxian Peoples Spam Factory.

Copyright © Dan Sroka 12/14/02,

5/08

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