Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Die Bahn sped along toward the Frankfurt destination. The diamond cutters were all tanked and groggy, blowing methane bombs left and right. Doughboy curled around a half empty gallon of Mogen David. His hazy cognitions passed to a dream. “Berkovitz....Shem.....Rodney.......” In the desert the boys gathered in a dimly lit cave. Rodney explained he had sucked up all the wine and there was nothing left. Berkovitz was fit to be tied. A strong wind blew up sand and a whirlwind. Dust filled everyones eyes and the goons were nearly blinded. A voice stated “urinate in this bucket and I will transform the liquid to an endless supply of strong fortified wine”. One by one, the boys pissed gallons in the bucket. It was never ending. Rodney pissed all night alone. The voice then stated “It is done.. you will have wine from now on”. Doughboy inquired, “who are you? How can you turn our piss into a never ending supply of wine?”. The voice responded, but Rodney blew a gigantic gas bomb just as the words were uttered, and the message was garbled. Was it Allah? Was it Kaballah? Was it Yahweh? Idi Amin? The boys were confused and in disagreement. Doughboy woke up from the dream. He’d pissed himself and so had all the other diamond cutters. Die Bahn was a moving torpedo of urine and methane gas stench. Frankfurt was in for a real surprise when the boys arrived!

Copyright © Dan Sroka 9/29/02