Dan Sroka's Berserk Briefs #33

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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Granny Gertrude was getting old. 91 years of age, hard of hearing and feeble in the mind. But, old granny had some spunk left. She liked to brag about her glory days when, before the arthritis, carpal tunnel and rigormortis set in, she held the record for jacking off the most men in the western world. Granny explained to her great-great granddaughter Elizabeth who listened intently. “Back then, I was in demand! By 1941, I’d caused more cum to flow than Mae West. I’d done everything from 1 inch to 12. And I can still do it. Why just last year I did Coach Leptospira Icterohemorrhagica”. Elizabeth thought “wow- Granny was way ahead of her time. I’m going to be just like old granny. If I start tonight I can jack off more men than granny and mommy combined. After all, I’m only 8 and my life expectancy is 107”. Coach Leptospira Icterohemorrhagica knocked at the door. Granny Gertrude suddenly collapsed and died. Elizabeth finished him off, beginning her quest.

Copyright © Dan Sroka 12/23/01

Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Once again Buckminster was arrested and jailed for DUI. But he was out of the lockup in the blink of an eye. His bondsman knew the importance of getting the drunkard truck driver his freedom back. You see Buckminster had his 18 wheeler full with 50,000 cases of Budweiser and that shipment had to arrive in New York by saturday so all the New York boozehounds would have plenty of beer to get plastered on for New Years eve. It would do no one any good to have that trailer sitting idle in California. So bond was posted and Buckminster made a b-line to his truck. He would get the booze to New York even though he had no drivers license. He was not about to let all the drunkards that depended on him down! Buckminster drove the big rig only occasionally stopping to take a piss. He had a case or two here and there. Blurry eyed and groggy he stopped for a rest in Texas. He stayed at a flop-house dump at the bargain rate of 79 cents per nite. The next morning he thought, “man, I really got a bargain. 79 cents for a good nights sleep!” But the trick was on idiot Buckminster. The Texas boozeboys found his fully loaded booze cache and they drank every drop of the Bud. A half-million dollar booze shipment gone! That’s one expensive lodging bill- $500,000.79 for one nights sleep. Buckminster pulled out his gun and put his pistol to his head. It was all over now.

Copyright © Dan Sroka 12/24/01,

4/08

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