Dan Sroka's Berserk Briefs #24

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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

Scientists have ascertained estimates of what the average human male excretes in a normal life span. Did you know that if all your urine was eliminated at once you would piss the Mississippi River full from St. Louis to New Orleans? And if all your sweat could be gathered and let loose it would fill a 50,000 gallon stainless beer brewing vat. Man- that’s a lot of stink. How much do you shit? How about a one inch thick log around the entire boarder of Texas. And, of course, what everyone wants to know. If all the cum of the average man were gathered up it would be the equivalent of one coal barge going down the Mississippi. Now- aren’t you ashamed of yourself?

Copyright © Dan Sroka 9/26/01

Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka

The diamond cutters met for their daily lunch time bagels and quarts of Mogen David at Antwerp’s Ebberstrassen Corned Beef Deli. Berkovitz spilled the beans to his close friend and coworker Morey. “I cut the stone in the shape of a dodecahedron”, he whispered, anticipating Morey’s response. Appalled, Morey busted his Mogen David bottle on the tables edge and waved it near Berkovitzs jugular. “You cannot do this! The people will not stand for it! You know this is forbidden!”, cried Morey, in an uncontrolled rage. Berkovitz cowered back- avoiding the broken glass from the wine bottle. Berkovitz then stood up and pulled the stone out of his pocket. It rested in the palm of his hand. He showed it to all in the Corned Beef Deli. Everyone was flabbergasted and stunned beyond words. Morey’s bagel fell to the floor. Morey tipped over of a fatal heart attack. The medics worked in vain. Morey was dead! Folks in the Antwerp’s Ebberstrassen Corned Beef Deli were speechless. Berkovitz finished his Mogen David and headed for the Antwerp Casualty Life refund office to claim the death insurance he recently bought for his former friend Morey. With his big payout Berkovitz caught the Elite Express Steelwheeler to Brussels. He hid the dodecahedron in a bottle of Mogen David. It would be put to good use in Brussels.

This Berserk Briefs story continues- see the next episode
Copyright © Dan Sroka 9/26/01,

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