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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
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Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
Deep in thought about the metaphysical para-hyperbolic nature of the cosmos, Dr. Ezzard Scrotumballs stumbled upon a perplexing problem. How could the non-Euclidean dimension perspective account for discrepancies in the String Theory Standard Model? Would the Z bosons mix with the W bosons or would they be negated by the gluons of non-randomness wavepackets of normal quantum electrodynamics? Is a straight line straight? Scrotumballs remembered something he’d never thought of before! How could THAT be? “Hold on here”, he thought. “That line was curved last night. Maybe the pink elephant was the W boson and the green snake was the inverse of the reverse Sirag skepticism emblematic by the Z boson!” Suddenly- it all made sense! Dr. Ezzard Scrotumballs finally realized he is stone fucking nuts!
Copyright © Dan Sroka 6/17/01
Berserk Briefs by Dan Sroka
None of us are getting any younger. Baluga H Cornhole, now near 80, was becoming concerned with his mortality. There was not much time left, in all likelihood. So, Baluga decided he would dig his own grave and save a little money. He always was miserly. The ground under the bridge (where the Troll once lived) looked like a good place. Baluga started digging, but when he saw all the bugs and worms, he changed his mind. He next considered cremation but that was quickly dispelled as that would be too hot. Baluga was perplexed. He consulted his psychiatrist with his predicament. The shrink told him that it’s entirely possible that in the near future advances in science will make it possible to live forever. Baluga’s eyes lit up! So, he made arrangements with his lawyer. Baluga H Cornhole had his head cut off and cryogenically stored so that he could be brought back to life at some point in the future.
Copyright © Dan Sroka 6/17/01, 
3/08
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